To the tune of "Here I Go Again" by Whitesnake

Herman Cain has ANOTHER woman coming forward and his response to it: Here we go again. Of course a song was coming.

I don’t know who I’m boning, but I know when I stick it in
Giving up on teases who demand that I pay
And I so love to grind
A woman without her own mind
Here we go again, here we go again

Though I keep searching for a slut bag
I never seem to find one who can keep her mouth shut
Oh Lord I pray you give me one without a tongue
But then again that won’t do
Bill Clinton, how I envy you

Here we go again, another ho
Telling all the things about me that she knows
Like a Clinton I have a need a woman who likes to blow
And won’t speak her mind
If about her, the media does find

I’m just another man in search of booty
Waiting for a rear to present itself
And I’m gonna grab it and squeeze it for days
Cause I can’t control it
How I love me those legs, ass, and tits

Here we go again, another ho
Telling all the things about me that she knows
Like a Clinton I have a need a woman who likes to blow
And won’t speak her mind
If about her, the media does find

Manuh-Ma-WAH! Twilight Stole My Muppets

How many fucking theaters do you need to show Twilight? Is it that important to you to break a box office record that you must have a showing every 30 minutes? And more importantly: DID YOU HAVE TO TAKE SO MANY THEATERS THAT MY MUPPETS MOVIE WAS A) LIMITED TO 3 SHOWINGS A DAY AND B) NOT SHOWN IN 3D? What is the point of a Muppets 3D movie when it isn't being shown in 3D? And I am not exaggerating about Twilight showings either; it was ever half hour which took at least what, 6 theaters to pull off with a 3 hour movie?

To the Tune of "Carry On My Wayward Son" by Kansas

Mitt says he tried a beer once...just once.


Don't inhale my wayward son
Be careful or you may have fun
There'll be a buzz if you ingest to much
Don't you drink no more

Once he fell into the depth of temptation
And he smoked, drank, and tried masturbation
He didn't dig the first two
But the third was just great
Playing with himself became an obsession
It felt so good, it cured his depression
And his right arm grew much larger
As he loved to masturbate

Don't inhale my wayward son
Be careful or you may have fun
There'll be a buzz if you ingest to much
Don't you drink no more

To the tune of "Stand" by REM

Get Pepper sprayed in the place that you sit
Now in the face
Think about obeying the unlawful things I have to say
Get Pepper sprayed in the place that you stand
Now fall down
Think about obeying me, now get down on the ground

The police are outnumbered
And have no clue
So what in the Hell
Do you expect them to do
Under educated
And driven by fear
They all just want to go home
A drink a few beers
So

Get Pepper sprayed in the place that you sit
Now in the face
Think about obeying the things I have to say
Get Pepper sprayed in the place that you stand
Now fall down
Think about obeying me, now get down on the ground

The people are trying
To have their say
And when it comes to riots
UC knows the way
The police are assholes
And acting like thugs
Perhaps they would be more mellow
If they took a few drugs
So

Get Pepper sprayed in the place that you sit
Now in the face
Think about obeying the things I have to say
Get Pepper sprayed in the place that you stand
Now fall down
Think about obeying me, now get down on the ground

To the tune of "Blinded by the Light"

My Rick Perry
Thinks this is way to scary
Cause the media ain't playing fair
And Herman Cain
Wants to change his name
And maybe dye his hair
As Newt is for sale
And probably should be in jail
Waiting on Freddie to pay
While Mitt takes a shit
Allowing them to take the hits
And hopes to make to election day


So long as they're blinded by the Right
These bunch of douches keep them from seeing the light
Blinded by the Right
The nation is down and we may never get a chance
Think we will make it to the night?

An Example of my Life

Ever work with people who thrive on drama and therefore must create it wherever they can? Me too. Here is one such story of how my days go:

On my way into work this morning I received a text from a tech who was scheduled to work tonight. She told me her daughter was in the hospital and she could not work tonight and that she was so sorry about that. This sucks, but shit happens. We had a busy week and I needed her to work tonight rather badly, but her child takes priority. Sadly, I had already given another tech this weekend off (she had asked on Monday).

When I got to work, the Office Manager was the only other person there and she had just returned from a week's vacation. I wanted to let her know about my schedule problem before anyone came it to present her with problems and I gave her a solution. I said:

“Hey, I know we have four patients tonight and one of my techs who was scheduled tonight called in because her daughter was taken to the hospital. I had given another tech the weekend off at the start of this week, so I need your approval to give Tech C some overtime.”

How did my Office Manager convey this to the rest of the staff when they arrived?

“Brad gave two techs the weekend off, so we need to find another tech or give Tech C overtime.”

The reality was I had the schedule covered, but an unforeseen event happened beyond my control.

The story she implied was I was irresponsible and fucked up and am costing the company money unless they can think of a solution.

To my mom and Boss who will read this, DO NOT DO ANYTHING! I am just venting which is part of what my blog is for.

To the Tune of "The Night They Drove Old Dixie Down" by the Band

As sung by Karl Rove

Herman Cain is his name and he’s running for the Presidency
“But that won’t happen,” said Rove. “Not if it’s up to me
See I don’t mind not playing fair
And if you don’t like it, well, I don’t care
I swear by the blood that never reaches Cheney’s heart
If he continues to run I will tear that man apart.”

The fortnight they brought down Herman Cain
Off all the media was feeding
The fortnight they brought down Herman Cain
And Karl Rove was laughing
He went: Ha, ha-ha-ha, ha-ha.
Ha-ha, ha-ha, ha-ha, ha-ha

“Back when he was in the NRA they say he was a lecherous man
And I’ve found lots of women who are willing to go with my plan
See, it don’t take much to ruin someone
And I must admit it is lots of fun
It is what I do and how I made my name
Ruining people is my claim to fame!”

The fortnight they brought down Herman Cain
Off all the media was feeding
The fortnight they brought down Herman Cain
And Karl Rove was laughing
He went: Ha, ha-ha-ha, ha-ha.
Ha-ha, ha-ha, ha-ha, ha-ha

Now that the media has the scent of blood I can slowly back off
And condemn the liberal media, saying on Obama they were too soft
Politics today is just a game
And I play it and put everyone else to shame
You may think I’m not as relevant as I once was
But I say you only have to ask Herman Cain because

The fortnight they brought down Herman Cain
Off all the media was feeding
The fortnight they brought down Herman Cain
And Karl Rove was laughing
He went: Ha, ha-ha-ha, ha-ha.
Ha-ha, ha-ha, ha-ha, ha-ha

Lucy, that Bitch!

I pictured myself on a boat, on a river, but the Tangerine skies kept dripping citric acid in my eyes and I couldn't see who was calling behind me. When I turned to answer quite slowly due to the burning pain in my eyes, the bitch ran off!

To the tune of "Pardon Me" by Incubus

It was a few weeks ago
My G-d, could it be
Herman Cain was the front runner in the GOP
But the limelight was bright
And he couldn't see
The myriad of hurdles that leads to the Presidency

So Pardon him while he bursts into flames
He's had enough of this race
He can't seem to play the game
(so) Pardon him, pardon him

Veteran's Day

Thank you to anyone who put their life on the line for something larger than themselves and thank you for every freedom I enjoy. I am free to be a pacifist because of people like you.


I will continue to try and live up to my end of making sure those in power don't risk your lives without reason. I don't always succeed, and have really failed as of late, but I will not stop. You deserve having a country that values your willingness to sacrifice and not one that sees you as pawns in a larger game.