You! Out of the Gene Pool!

By Kanrei
I love the Darwin Awards. I think they are brilliant. For those who may not know, the Darwin Awards are given posthumously to those who are kind enough to take themselves out of the gene pool. No, it is not as morbid as that, well actually it is, but not everyone who kills themselves gets to be in. There are very strict rules to gain entry into this noble list.

A nominee must take themselves “out of the gene pool: dead or sterile”; show an “ Astounding misapplication of judgment”; “Cause one's own demise”; you must be “capable of sound judgment”; and The event must be true”.

One of my favorite winners is a guy who used a shotgun as a bat on his girlfriend’s car as she drove off. The problem is that the shotgun was loaded and he was holding the barrel when the impact on the windshield causes the gun to discharge. This is the kind of taking them selves out of the gene pool they are referring too.

The reason I brought it up is that I saw this story of some schmuck hanging from a power line in England:

British Transport Police appealed for help today to trace a youth who was seen swinging from overhead power cables by train passengers.

This guy is just, pardon this pun, DYING to get in. He didn’t make it though.

"The overhead cables carry 25,000 volts and, although the overheads had been switched off to deal with another incident closer to the station, a residual current of at least 5,000 volts would have still been running through the cables.
Both he, and the other young person watching from the bridge, could have been seriously injured, electrocuted and even killed.”

What would possess a person to do something that stupid? The story says they had no way of knowing the line was turned off, so as far as he knew he was grabbing a live power line. He is going to go through life now thinking himself the luckiest person in the world. Maybe he is.

He is going to carry this story like a badge of honor. It should be a reminder to not do stupid things, but a person this stupid will never realize that. He redefines stupid actually. He brings stupid to another level entirely.

Now that I think about it, I don’t think he would qualify for a Darwin Award even if he did die. I mean a nominee must be “capable of sound judgment” and I just don’t see it. Let’s just hope the 5000 volts made him sterile at least. I will settle for alive and out of the gene pool, but G-d help the future if he reproduces.