The Return of Baghdad Bob

By Kanrei

On April 8th, 2003 Baghdad Bob vanished. Mohammed Saeed al-Sahaf, the Iraqi Minister of Information under Saddam Hussein was a constant figure during the 43 day war to take Baghdad. He was actually the best part to come out of that war. Saturday Night Live could not have written a better character. Who can forget these classic and timeless lines:

"We butchered the force present at the airport. We have retaken the airport! There are no Americans there!"

"Whenever we attack, they retreat. When we pound them with missiles and heavy artillery, they retreat even deeper. But when we stopped pounding, they pushed to the airport for propaganda purposes."

"The Americans are not there. They're not in Baghdad. There are no troops there. Never. They're not at all."

"We have killed most of the [coalition] infidels, and I think we will finish off the rest soon."

But then he just vanished without a trace. We all knew he would re-emerge from the rubble of Baghdad, but where and when? MSNBC has unwittingly found him and I cannot believe where he has been hiding.

Mohammed Saeed al-Sahaf AKA Baghdad Bob is, in reality none other than Nouri Kamel al-Maliki, Prime Minister of Iraq. I was shocked as well. Who would have thought an idiot who denies reality could rise to such a high position of authority…..Bush, right.

The proof is there for anyone who wants to look. Sure they look nothing alike and al-Maliki is obviously older than Bob, but they say the exact same types of ridiculous statements that make me wonder. There cannot be two people that in denial of reality….Bush, right.

Here is another classic from Baghdad Bob: "Nobody came here. Those America losers, I think their repeated frequent lies are bringing them down very rapidly.... Baghdad is secure, is safe." This was said as US troops were taking central Baghdad. You could almost see the tanks behind Bob as he spoke.

Now compare that to al-Maliki today in MSNBC: “The violence is not increasing. We’re not in a civil war. Iraq will never be in a civil war…The violence is in decrease and our security ability is increasing.”

This was said as eighteen people were killed Sunday in bombings around Iraq including “near the pedestrian entry point to the Palestine Hotel in downtown Baghdad, killing at least nine people and wounding 18”. MSNBC reports that over 10,000 Iraqis have been killed since al-Maliki took office in May in almost daily violence. The violence is Sunni Iraqis and Shiite Iraqis. That means it is Iraqi versus Iraqi. Is there some other definition I have not heard about for “civil war”?

Something happened that all of the world leaders seem to be suffering from Tabloiditis. This is a condition that states “perception is reality and repetition creates perception.” OF course, one must also add in a touch of “if you are going to lie, lie big” philosophy as well.

Truth is, I am happy Baghdad Bob is employed again. The man had such great comedic timing and a wonderful gift of irony that would be wasted if he was retired or killed. It shows Bush is a second chance kind of guy. Welcome back to the world of spin Bob, we missed you.