Clear Signs of Endless Middle Eastern War: Part V (Special Edition: Hope?)

By Kanrei

A ray of hope? A glimmer of sunshine? Is Pop Culture being fought back against? Is there really a chance? It appears so and there are three reasons to be happy.

First I saw Paris Hilton was bitten by her pet Ki…Ki….Honeybear named Baby Luv. She was bitten last Friday around 3 am and, like any truly worried bleeding celebrity, called her publicist. Let me say that again, because it is important. She was bleeding from a bite at 3 am and was worried so she called her publicist. I would have called a doctor or 911 if I were really concerned. I guess she was more concerned about making sure the press knew. A tetanus shot for a scratch is hardly emergency room worthy. It is also certainly not worth the days and days this story has floated around from. Don’t worry though, Baby Luv was looked at by a vet and survived the encounter. I guess they were concerned about what Princess Diana Monroe's blood might have done to such a pure and innocent creature.

I am almost starting to think a day without Paris might be a worse sign...
Score 1 for us.

Then I saw the news that made my heart sing. I have complained in the past about Star Wars not maturing with their audience. It bothered me that the new Star Wars movies were made for kids instead of lifelong fans. Thank you G-d, Jesus, Allah, Buddha, Satan, Mother Earth, and any other thing worshipped out there. Thank you for "Jim Henson's Puppet Improv". I have not seen it, only read about it, but that is more than enough to chase away the apocalypse for a while.

During the “Edinburgh Fringe arts festival” this year in Canada, Brian Henson, son of the late Jim Henson has started an adult improvisational Muppet show not for kids. That is right, Muppets for adults only. They have always struck me as having a very strong adult slant, but I just wrote it off as trying to make sure parents took their kids. Now, I believe differently.

One of my favorite running jokes of all time is from "The Muppet Movie" and is a joke no kid would ever get. Everytime someone says something about being lost, the answer is always "have you tried Hara Krishna lately?". That is such a funny and under-the -radar joke there is no way it was written just to pacify an adult audience.

The really good news is Brian Henson's plans for the future. He is trying to take the concept to television.

"There is something really therapeutic for us about this adult improv,"

On his father liking such a thing:

"I think he would have loved it because of how outrageous I get. My Dad really believed in community and sweetness but the other side of him was incredibly naughty.
"He always said the only reason we did this was those moments where it is like laughing in church. It becomes so infectious you cannot stop laughing."

Score 2 for us.

Then, today, as if all of that was not enough, I see Boy George is cleaning the streets of New York. He was given five days of community service for filing a false police report while possessing cocaine. In essence, he is being publicly humiliated for being stupid. It is a simple rule, but one should not call the cops and invite them into your house for no reason when one is in possession of drugs. Seems obvious I know.

"You think you're better than me?" he yelled. "Go home. Let me do my community service."

Yes, yes I do. In fact, I am almost 100% positive I am. I have never had to perform community service infront of large mocking crowds. I have never been dumb enough to call the cops to my house while holding cocaine. I have never even done cocaine for that matter. I have only dressed in drag once and I understand the meaning of "humble".

"This is supposed to be making me humble. Let me do this," he said. "I just want to do my job."

Isn’t it ironic that a man who dressed as outrageously as possible for the sole purpose of getting everyone‘s attention is now trying to be ignored while working in the public? I think it is the not getting paid for the entertainment he is providing that is really getting to him. Personally, I think it is some of his best work.

Do you really want to punish me?
Do you really want to make me sweep?
DO you think that this will help me?
Don't realize I'm a cross-dressing freak.

Score 3 for us.

Rest well tonight, my fellow Lemmings. There is hope on the horizon that the coming Pop Culture Apocalypse may just be prevented.

For Part Four