Babbling Onwards

Previously

“Your wife Charlie, you killed your wife.”

“I would never kill Dana.”
“You haven’t” his original thought said full of mocking confidence, “yet. You killed your wife Charlie. You killed Michelle.”

“Holy Christ!”

The cigarette fell from his lips, falling into his crotch. His shock was such that he did not notice.
Continued...

Charlie first met Michelle too many years ago to count. They were in college together, studying chemistry. Chem-lab was Michelle’s favorite class. She would often joke to Charlie that the lab was filled with things to “blow you up or fuck you up. Just gotta know the right combinations.” And she did. She was very popular among the “DeadShed” crowd. She was a full cast member by her second visit.

K.B., Charlie’s room-mate thought Michelle was a gift for him. K.B. usually got every girl he wanted. “Want to see my posters” never failed. Charlie never understood how K.B. did it, but he did.

K.B. was Kevin Britney Jones, Charlie’s best friend since grade-school. He started going by “KB Jones” when he learned to “jones” was slang for someone desperately in need of drugs. He had a THC enhanced vision one night that Kevin Britney could be Kind Bud. They always just called Kind Bud “K.B.” to feel cool and hip. So he spent the better part of the night babbling how cool he was and forced everyone to call him “KB Jones”. It stuck from that night on, in part because everyone liked it honestly and in part to make fun of him for going that “one toke over the line”.

KB and Charlie had a weird friendship. It was close, brotherly close, but brothers who did not fully get along. Charlie lived in KB’s shadow like a side-kick. KB represented every insecurity Charlie had, and it killed him watching KB hitting on his dream girl from day one. K.B. never missed when he started hitting on a girl and Charlie had a rule about never following his friends. If KB got her, then Charlie never could. And “got” is the proper word because KB was always after the sex only. Charlie looked for some notion of romance that never existed, even in fiction.

His mind spoke to him independent of his consciousness for the first time.

“She was meant for you. He knows that. He is not your friend. Lose him.”

The thought scared the hell out of Charlie. He wrote it off as just being really stoned, but the thoughts kept speaking to him every time he forced himself to watch KB borderline date-raping the love of his life. She never gave in. She never slept with KB, no matter how stoned she was, or drunk, or tripping, or rolling, or whatever. It gave Charlie hope every day, but he could never say anything to her. Other thoughts soon made themselves known to him as well.

“You don’t stand a chance Charlie. Be happy alone. Alone you will stay.”
“She is for you Charlie, but you lack anything to offer. She will laugh”
“She will laugh and leave. Better to watch from afar than to lose it all”

It was Michelle that made the first move on Charlie, and neither of them was stoned. She just kissed him. It was that simple. She kissed him once and leaned back, scanning his eyes for approval or disgust. She saw herself enveloped in unrequited love. He had wanted this moment for so long, lost sleep for so many nights, failed so many classes daydreaming and now she kissed him.

He did not hesitate and kissed her in return, unleashing his pent-up desire he was shocked every second she did not resist. She did not squirm away. She wanted it as much as he did. He was not a virgin, but he might as well have been. It was three years since his last time with a woman and he had just started to believe the thoughts and they were not willing to go away just yet.

“Wow Charlie”, one said sarcastically, “a woman. Did you have to pay much?”
“No, he went to the hospital and grabbed him a blind one.”
“You better be good or this is your last time for a long time.”
“How long has it been Charlie? Three years? This is a pity lay.”
“Of course! A pity lay!”

Panic started setting in on Charlie. Somehow, some way Michelle seemed to know it. She grabbed his head and stared into his eyes. Her stare sent chills throughout his body. It engulfed him in love. He did not know that existed. His thoughts were forced to retreat and Charlie and Michelle became “Charlie and Michelle”.

It took Charlie six months and she had to make the first move, but he was happy and he never even knew he wasn’t before. She completed him. She kept the thoughts at bay. He could tell her everything and did. She did not always like what she heard, but she always loved him when he was done.

“That is who you were Charlie.” She would always reassure him, “I love who you are.”

He couldn’t have killed her. She was everything to him. He would have killed himself first.

“Then explain Dana to us Charlie.” He thought he heard his thoughts laughing.
Continued