I am going to attempt to explain the appeal of Donald Trump. I need to state ahead of time I am not a supporter of the man and have no intentions of voting for him. I am neither a Republican nor a Democrat and am simply giving my non-partisan view on this race. I wonder if the media doesn't see what I am about to say or simply doesn't want to say it because it opens up a can of worms the status quo isn't ready to deal with yet, but it is this illusion of a binary election that is making people choose Trump.
The simply truth that nobody wants to admit is that Trump is not a factor in this election at all really. This election is the quintessential "Yellow Dog" race. This is why Trump's popularity is never affected by the stupid things he says and does. He doesn't matter; this election is all about Hillary Clinton. It is about the last 16 years of this nation spent at war. It is about things not really changing for too many people regardless of which party has been in control. It is about broken promises, perceived selling out of those in power, and the expanding helplessness the average American feels. And it is about fear.
Despite 16 years of constant war in the name of defending ourselves and making the world safe for life, we are not feeling safer. We are more scared than we've ever been and frightened people make stupid choices. They seek immediate relief rather than long term stability. They vote based on what if instead of what is.
Hillary Clinton is not unknown to the America people. Since 1991, we have known her and she has spent those years, in the Senate and as Sec of State, confirming our ideas of her, whatever they may be. She is secretive while proclaiming openness. She is a Hawk while proclaiming the Rational Dove. She is two-faced while pretending to be honest. The one thing we know a Clinton Presidency will bring is more of the same, for better or worse. She offers nothing else.
Enter Trump. He is running as the opposite of everything Clinton portrays herself to be: irrational; short-tempered; vindictive; unpredictable; a bully; a hypocrite willing to say anything to win. He is full of shit and quite open about it. As Carlin said, the American people will support him because Clinton pretends to be honest while Trump doesn't and America will respect how honest he is about what a horrible person he is. Sad, right? As Carlin put it: He may be full of shit, but at least he's honest about it.
The binary nature of how most people see our elections leaves them with this simple formula: I know Clinton, she says she is honest, and I don't trust her vs I don't know Trump, he says horrible things, and everyone tells me he is a liar. Clinton is inside and Trump is outside. I don't like inside, so therefore I support Trump.
If given two choices, I can't blame them; the problem is that they are not given two choices, but four. There are two other candidates running whom the media chooses until recently to ignore and who now are only sort of being given tongue in cheek coverage because the people are calling for it despite the media's attempts to keep things simple- one on one. It is even easier when you have someone like Trump who embraces the villain role and makes Clinton a hero by default in the story. Why complicate it with other possible heroes? America doesn't like complicated stories.
This election is a mess and only going to get worse. The worst part is that, if I am right and Trump was in the race solely to make Clinton appeal to the masses, this miscalculation is going to end in a Trump presidency neither he nor America really wants and then what? Will he quit? Quitting isn't in his nature, but failing is; declaring bankruptcy so he can start over with a "whoops" is. And what do we know of Mike Pence, who would become President?
If the media did their job, the fact that it is a four person race would be the focus of the news and the other candidates would be given equal time to appeal to the American people. Let America dismiss them because they don't agree with those candidates, not because they've never heard of them.
Showing posts with label Ranting Lunatic Moments. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Ranting Lunatic Moments. Show all posts
Wednesday, August 03, 2016
Tuesday, May 17, 2016
TV Writers SUCK!
I have a love-hate relationship with some TV shows, like most people. I seem to lean towards the "loving to hate" crowd, but I still have affection for those shows I quit watching in disgust. I think shows just go on too long today. I am thinking about this today because I read about how Castle ended its eight year run and it pretty much sums up much of my problems.
Now I am not a Castle fan although I did watch the show from time to time. As a fan of Firefly, I wanted to support Nathan "Capt Mal" Fillion on his new show, but I am not a fan of police shows, so it didn't keep my focus; I still followed spoilers and reviews. When I heard it was ending its run, I was curious to find out how they would end the show and, upon finding out, I am glad I didn't invest in the show. WTF kind of ending is that? I'm not spoiling Castle for you, but I am going to have to spoil others show in this rant. Be warned.
Television writers suck! There, I said it. They think of themselves as master story tellers who are able to spin multi-year long story arcs, but they are just television writers. They deal with episodes, not long arcs. If they could deal with long arcs, they would be movie writers.
Upon reflection on that paragraph, I can't fully blame the writers as the medium is not conducive to long story lines really. Yes, Netflix, Hulu, Amazon, and the concept of binge watching has made it easier for TV to tell long stories, but the nature of the format really doesn't allow that kind of commitment. A show could be canceled at any moment, like with Castle, and then the writers lose their ability to finish a story they started. It gets shortened, altered, and made to fit to an already established narrative and comes across almost 100% of the time as a band-aid tacked on ended. It is rare for a show like Babylon Five or Lost to get promised seasons to finish their tales, but still- the writers suck! See Lost for an example of still screwing it all up.
What Castle has done is made me reflect on Walking Dead and how pissed I am at those writers. If Walking Dead does what Castle just did, I see full scale riots in the Atlanta streets. Imagine the last Walking Dead episode showing Rick waking up from his first episode coma and the entire series was just a coma-dream. Only Bob Newhart can get away with an ending like that, but based on how these writers treat their show, I can not rule out such an ending.
I think the writers don't keep good notes on what they have done with their characters so far. Maybe the sheer fact that these show go on and on and on make those notes almost impossible to keep track of. How many plot points do you notice being left hanging like a chad in Florida?
I can't be the only one who has noticed Simpsons now flashback to the 90's, a period when the show was already on and episodes from then counter story plots from today. I can't be the only one who notices the Walking Dead writers clearly have no clue what they are doing and are using fan forums to plot the show. I can't be the only one who notices that Castle clearly was setting up a season ending cliffhanger and, upon being canceled, was too lazy and had too little respect for the fans to bother altering their intended ending and, instead tacked on a lazy happy ending.
We need to stop giving our love to these shows until they start giving us love. We are why they are on. We are why they do what they do. We need to stop being taken for granted by lazy hacks who are just winging it. These characters, more than movie characters, become part of our shared pop cultural history and we owe it to future generations to make sure they have quality American mythology and folklore.
Now I am not a Castle fan although I did watch the show from time to time. As a fan of Firefly, I wanted to support Nathan "Capt Mal" Fillion on his new show, but I am not a fan of police shows, so it didn't keep my focus; I still followed spoilers and reviews. When I heard it was ending its run, I was curious to find out how they would end the show and, upon finding out, I am glad I didn't invest in the show. WTF kind of ending is that? I'm not spoiling Castle for you, but I am going to have to spoil others show in this rant. Be warned.
Television writers suck! There, I said it. They think of themselves as master story tellers who are able to spin multi-year long story arcs, but they are just television writers. They deal with episodes, not long arcs. If they could deal with long arcs, they would be movie writers.
Upon reflection on that paragraph, I can't fully blame the writers as the medium is not conducive to long story lines really. Yes, Netflix, Hulu, Amazon, and the concept of binge watching has made it easier for TV to tell long stories, but the nature of the format really doesn't allow that kind of commitment. A show could be canceled at any moment, like with Castle, and then the writers lose their ability to finish a story they started. It gets shortened, altered, and made to fit to an already established narrative and comes across almost 100% of the time as a band-aid tacked on ended. It is rare for a show like Babylon Five or Lost to get promised seasons to finish their tales, but still- the writers suck! See Lost for an example of still screwing it all up.
What Castle has done is made me reflect on Walking Dead and how pissed I am at those writers. If Walking Dead does what Castle just did, I see full scale riots in the Atlanta streets. Imagine the last Walking Dead episode showing Rick waking up from his first episode coma and the entire series was just a coma-dream. Only Bob Newhart can get away with an ending like that, but based on how these writers treat their show, I can not rule out such an ending.
I think the writers don't keep good notes on what they have done with their characters so far. Maybe the sheer fact that these show go on and on and on make those notes almost impossible to keep track of. How many plot points do you notice being left hanging like a chad in Florida?
I can't be the only one who has noticed Simpsons now flashback to the 90's, a period when the show was already on and episodes from then counter story plots from today. I can't be the only one who notices the Walking Dead writers clearly have no clue what they are doing and are using fan forums to plot the show. I can't be the only one who notices that Castle clearly was setting up a season ending cliffhanger and, upon being canceled, was too lazy and had too little respect for the fans to bother altering their intended ending and, instead tacked on a lazy happy ending.
We need to stop giving our love to these shows until they start giving us love. We are why they are on. We are why they do what they do. We need to stop being taken for granted by lazy hacks who are just winging it. These characters, more than movie characters, become part of our shared pop cultural history and we owe it to future generations to make sure they have quality American mythology and folklore.
Friday, May 13, 2016
Far Too Serious
Today is all about perverting and destroying. I am tired of seeing this snow white back drop and feel a need to desecrate it with lots of black shapes that, in theory, combine for form letters that, in theory, combine to form words which, in theory, combine to form sentences which, in theory, will convey thought. I say "in theory" because I have nothing to say and couldn't spell it if I could. My spell-check has gone on strike due to overuse. It demands a vacation. I thought that when I retired from that political war zone that it would get its vacation, but it seems I am just writing more on Facebook and here, so no vacation was forthcoming.
Here is my dilemma- I have opinions on this current Presidential race, but am unmotivated to share them for some odd reason. Usually I am quite eager to spread the gospel as I see it, but this election has made me feel it would be moot. Fear is the driving force this election cycle and fear has a Teflon covering when it comes to reality. Nobody actually likes whom they plan to vote for, but are just more scared of the other side to bother actually finding someone they like. It is as if they don't realize voting for the lesser evil is still voting for evil and, as this is primary season, there was no rational reason to support evil in the name of fighting your greatest fear. And now we realize MY greatest fear: either Trump or Clinton is going to win. Thanks America.
I miss the days of Britney Spears shaving her head, of American Idol promoting horrible singers, of Paris Hilton doing stupid things and Jessica Simpson saying them. I miss Justin Bieber driving badly and I really miss Dan Qualye. I miss when life provided comedy. I miss when life was silly and we were actually consumed with complaining about it. I miss when our greatest gripe was that the iPhone was coming out in a new color and we already bought the black one.
It is weird, as I never thought the 80's, the 90's, or even the 00's would be looked back on fondly. Man I am sick of how serious the world is today.
Here is my dilemma- I have opinions on this current Presidential race, but am unmotivated to share them for some odd reason. Usually I am quite eager to spread the gospel as I see it, but this election has made me feel it would be moot. Fear is the driving force this election cycle and fear has a Teflon covering when it comes to reality. Nobody actually likes whom they plan to vote for, but are just more scared of the other side to bother actually finding someone they like. It is as if they don't realize voting for the lesser evil is still voting for evil and, as this is primary season, there was no rational reason to support evil in the name of fighting your greatest fear. And now we realize MY greatest fear: either Trump or Clinton is going to win. Thanks America.
I miss the days of Britney Spears shaving her head, of American Idol promoting horrible singers, of Paris Hilton doing stupid things and Jessica Simpson saying them. I miss Justin Bieber driving badly and I really miss Dan Qualye. I miss when life provided comedy. I miss when life was silly and we were actually consumed with complaining about it. I miss when our greatest gripe was that the iPhone was coming out in a new color and we already bought the black one.
It is weird, as I never thought the 80's, the 90's, or even the 00's would be looked back on fondly. Man I am sick of how serious the world is today.
Thursday, May 05, 2016
Time to Post Something...Anything
The deal is I have something or some things on my mind that are yearning to be released, but they also refuse to allow me to know what they are before being released. Given they intend to use my name to gain access to the world, I feel it is acceptable for me to insist upon knowing what they are before being released. What if they mourn Cruz's departure or starts talking up Clinton? What if they justify a vote for Trump? I can't have my name attached to such things in today's world; not if I intend to put it online which I do for some unknown reason.
No really: why am I posting this crap? Can it help me? No. Can it hurt me? Most certainly. You never know what position you take today that will become the liability of tomorrow. Early Communists didn't know what Lenin or Stalin had planned and Germany didn't know Hitler's intent. Nothing I say is that radical, but who know how the winds of acceptable uses of free speech will blow tomorrow?
I have become obsessed with this fluid nature of reality and have dedicated far too much time breaking it down and looking at it from all angles, but there is a major flaw in all of it I can't accept and that is the fluid nature of reality. See, I must use my mind to process what I see, hear, feel, and think and if my mind is damaged, then my outcomes will be flawed. And the one thing I depend on to tell if I am sane is the very thing I am forced to diagnose to determine my sanity. I could ask another person, but how do I know they are all there?
I have noticed reality is not uniform and is not shared and recently figured out it also does not remain constant for any period of time. In fact, even the time we use to measure reality are illusions. They are attempts by man to control what is beyond their control. We can't stop time. We can't move through it faster or slower than it moves. We try to contain it in months, days, weeks, minutes, hours, seconds...but these are flawed as leap years and time adjustments prove. No two people can see the same thing because no two people can occupy the same spot, so even adjacent perspectives are not identical. Men see less color than women do. Men judge distance better than women can. These are scientific realities. These principles also prove that no two people see the same thing. One of our five senses is unreliable. Lucky we have others, right? Wrong.
Every sense, the five "separate" senses are all tied to and processed by the same central location: the brain. I know some scientific inclined readers (if I have any) are saying to themselves this is rather simplistic and wrong, but I am going for simplistic and I learn from being wrong, so please correct me. Back to it...
Every sense, the five "separate" senses are all tied to and processed by the same central location: the brain. If that central processor is not working right, as I said above, then what it produces can't be right either and we have no way of knowing. I don't believe people know they are insane, but rather are the ones going around saying everyone else is crazy. They see a society that doesn't work as they believe it should and say to themselves "the one eyed man is king in the world of the blind"...or maybe it is just me.
See how easy it is for reality to be called into question? Some of you (again, assuming there is more than one reader) agreed with what I said above and others of you think I am nuts. A few want to know more and most wonder why even bothered posting this or spending the time writing it. Who's right? I know: you are, but seriously- which is the reality answer? Am I babbling? Am I speaking truths? Am I spitting out philosophy 101 nonsense or approaching some truth?
Who the fuck knows and who the fuck really cares? Odds are, in this reality not a single person sees this.
No really: why am I posting this crap? Can it help me? No. Can it hurt me? Most certainly. You never know what position you take today that will become the liability of tomorrow. Early Communists didn't know what Lenin or Stalin had planned and Germany didn't know Hitler's intent. Nothing I say is that radical, but who know how the winds of acceptable uses of free speech will blow tomorrow?
I have become obsessed with this fluid nature of reality and have dedicated far too much time breaking it down and looking at it from all angles, but there is a major flaw in all of it I can't accept and that is the fluid nature of reality. See, I must use my mind to process what I see, hear, feel, and think and if my mind is damaged, then my outcomes will be flawed. And the one thing I depend on to tell if I am sane is the very thing I am forced to diagnose to determine my sanity. I could ask another person, but how do I know they are all there?
I have noticed reality is not uniform and is not shared and recently figured out it also does not remain constant for any period of time. In fact, even the time we use to measure reality are illusions. They are attempts by man to control what is beyond their control. We can't stop time. We can't move through it faster or slower than it moves. We try to contain it in months, days, weeks, minutes, hours, seconds...but these are flawed as leap years and time adjustments prove. No two people can see the same thing because no two people can occupy the same spot, so even adjacent perspectives are not identical. Men see less color than women do. Men judge distance better than women can. These are scientific realities. These principles also prove that no two people see the same thing. One of our five senses is unreliable. Lucky we have others, right? Wrong.
Every sense, the five "separate" senses are all tied to and processed by the same central location: the brain. I know some scientific inclined readers (if I have any) are saying to themselves this is rather simplistic and wrong, but I am going for simplistic and I learn from being wrong, so please correct me. Back to it...
Every sense, the five "separate" senses are all tied to and processed by the same central location: the brain. If that central processor is not working right, as I said above, then what it produces can't be right either and we have no way of knowing. I don't believe people know they are insane, but rather are the ones going around saying everyone else is crazy. They see a society that doesn't work as they believe it should and say to themselves "the one eyed man is king in the world of the blind"...or maybe it is just me.
See how easy it is for reality to be called into question? Some of you (again, assuming there is more than one reader) agreed with what I said above and others of you think I am nuts. A few want to know more and most wonder why even bothered posting this or spending the time writing it. Who's right? I know: you are, but seriously- which is the reality answer? Am I babbling? Am I speaking truths? Am I spitting out philosophy 101 nonsense or approaching some truth?
Who the fuck knows and who the fuck really cares? Odds are, in this reality not a single person sees this.
Tuesday, June 22, 2010
A Considerate Inconvenience
What should I do with G-d's attention since I obviously have the Big Guy's undivided today? As I have often said, our reality is G-d's entertainment and boy am I entertaining him today. I should almost have a full one share by the end of today actually. Given that there is only one viewer, a one share is pretty damn good. Any real TV people out there should forgive my misuse of the share concept.
My two-story abode is a two and a half bath, of which I use one and a half. My master bedroom has one naturally and I have one downstairs for my TV viewing needs. That third bathroom, the upstairs guest bathroom I suppose, has been reduced to a kitty liter holding area. It used to be the room I kept one litter box in, but my cats really seem to either like using the floor or dig watching me sweep and clean. Either way, I go in there enough to clean it, but never really glance around. I already know both the toilet and shower are, while working, not great and therefore never get dirty. Sure, once in a while I go and clean the dust, but that is really all that gets there.
Anywho, today I decided to change the showerhead in my master bathroom because I saw one at Target that looked just awesome, so I bought it. It being lunch and the box expressed an ease of changing, I decided to head home and do it quickly. Hahaha on me because it was at that moment G-d tuned in. Someone put superglue in the grooves of the nozzle I had to remove to put my new kick-ass showerhead up.
I turned and turned and strained and twisted.
I hammered and pounded and heated and pleaded.
I cursed and bartered and schemed and invented
I was laughed at, turned down, scoffed, and defeated.
As I turned to leave my shower, I clearly heard: NO NEW SHOWERHEAD FOR YOU! COME BACK ONE YEAR. I remember thinking "funny, I never knew my shower was a Seinfeld fan." Funny how you can live with something for 9 years and never know that much about them. Oh, story...
I decided very quickly that it was time to use my other bathroom and my nine-year neglected shower of the kitty's bathroom. At the very least, it would blow their little minds, but G-d was not quite through with his entertainment for the day. Right above my tub was a hole, rather nice sized, and in it was another hole that probably lead to yet another that ended with my roof I would bet. I am lucky it was over my tub, but how long has it been there?
I should be really pissed off that I have another hole in my roof, on the other side this time so it isn't even the same leak as before, but I can't be. It was over my tub. Sure, it has probably been there for a few months and I never knew about it, but it limited the damage it did by appearing over something watertight and with a drain. How can I possibly be upset at such a considerate inconvenience?
My two-story abode is a two and a half bath, of which I use one and a half. My master bedroom has one naturally and I have one downstairs for my TV viewing needs. That third bathroom, the upstairs guest bathroom I suppose, has been reduced to a kitty liter holding area. It used to be the room I kept one litter box in, but my cats really seem to either like using the floor or dig watching me sweep and clean. Either way, I go in there enough to clean it, but never really glance around. I already know both the toilet and shower are, while working, not great and therefore never get dirty. Sure, once in a while I go and clean the dust, but that is really all that gets there.
Anywho, today I decided to change the showerhead in my master bathroom because I saw one at Target that looked just awesome, so I bought it. It being lunch and the box expressed an ease of changing, I decided to head home and do it quickly. Hahaha on me because it was at that moment G-d tuned in. Someone put superglue in the grooves of the nozzle I had to remove to put my new kick-ass showerhead up.
I turned and turned and strained and twisted.
I hammered and pounded and heated and pleaded.
I cursed and bartered and schemed and invented
I was laughed at, turned down, scoffed, and defeated.
As I turned to leave my shower, I clearly heard: NO NEW SHOWERHEAD FOR YOU! COME BACK ONE YEAR. I remember thinking "funny, I never knew my shower was a Seinfeld fan." Funny how you can live with something for 9 years and never know that much about them. Oh, story...
I decided very quickly that it was time to use my other bathroom and my nine-year neglected shower of the kitty's bathroom. At the very least, it would blow their little minds, but G-d was not quite through with his entertainment for the day. Right above my tub was a hole, rather nice sized, and in it was another hole that probably lead to yet another that ended with my roof I would bet. I am lucky it was over my tub, but how long has it been there?
I should be really pissed off that I have another hole in my roof, on the other side this time so it isn't even the same leak as before, but I can't be. It was over my tub. Sure, it has probably been there for a few months and I never knew about it, but it limited the damage it did by appearing over something watertight and with a drain. How can I possibly be upset at such a considerate inconvenience?
Monday, March 08, 2010
I STILL Hate You, AT&T
I got my tax return on Saturday. That should be good news, right? I should start planning all those projects that my home requires, but was simply lacking the funds to do, right? I should buy myself a present maybe, like that new Netbook I bought on Thursday, right? Well, thanks to you AT&T, and your taking of the money I had set aside for my credit card bill, now NONE of that will be done....ok, I already did the Netbook, but wouldn't have if I had known you were about to fuck me anally without the use of lube....sorry mom.
My tax return was not the bonanza it usually is this year for some reason, but it was enough that I could repay my parents, put some in savings, and still have some fun (see Netbook.) Now, it all goes to my credit card. Why? Because you forced me to give them the minimum payment you schmucks!
Ya know, most companies will TURN OFF SERVICE after two months and then I would know you were not getting my automatic payment. I would have said "funny the phone isn't working. I know it is automatically paid every month and I know there is money in my account, so something must be wrong" and I would have taken care of it when it was only like $150! No, you waited FIVE MONTHS! FIVE? FIVE? WTF?
So now, thanks to you, you evil whore of a corporation, I had to deposit the entire tax return and earmark it for the credit card company. Thanks for screwing me once again AT&T!
You really have perfected the art of screwing your customers. You have hit the trifecta with me now.
My tax return was not the bonanza it usually is this year for some reason, but it was enough that I could repay my parents, put some in savings, and still have some fun (see Netbook.) Now, it all goes to my credit card. Why? Because you forced me to give them the minimum payment you schmucks!
Ya know, most companies will TURN OFF SERVICE after two months and then I would know you were not getting my automatic payment. I would have said "funny the phone isn't working. I know it is automatically paid every month and I know there is money in my account, so something must be wrong" and I would have taken care of it when it was only like $150! No, you waited FIVE MONTHS! FIVE? FIVE? WTF?
So now, thanks to you, you evil whore of a corporation, I had to deposit the entire tax return and earmark it for the credit card company. Thanks for screwing me once again AT&T!
You really have perfected the art of screwing your customers. You have hit the trifecta with me now.
Friday, March 05, 2010
Today's Theme: I HATE YOU AT&T!!!
Oh my yes AT&T, how I loath you. I wish I could hate you more than I already do, as I have hated you this deeply for so long that it is losing it's thrill, but there is no lower level to my hate yet. You have passed Hitler. You have passed Spice Girls. You have even passed that baby crying in the back row of Shutter Island, and that takes skill. I hate you like Kirk hated Khan; like Jerry hated Tom; like Palin hates thinking.
It is not enough to suck completely at every facet of what you claim to do, my dear AT&T, but you take pride in your sucking. You brag about the "Retention Department" as if having so many people threatening to quit your service that you had to start a subsection of customer service is a good thing. Most companies don't piss off their clients to the point of wanting to quit the service on such a frequent basis. You should look into it.
Here is a novel idea by the way: fire all your customer service people and promote the Retention Department to the front lines? It has gotten to the point now that, when I call you, I just ask for them right out since 9 out of 10 of my calls to you ends up there anyway. It makes me feel bad for them since they are usually quite nice and I am usually quite pissed after dealing with: first, finding your number; second, the "press one, now press three, did you mean two" menu I have to navigate; third, the inbred who answers the phone; fourth, the "non-caring floor supervisor" who did the inbreeding; and then the brilliance of the manager who says there is nothing he can do. Somehow, Retention ALWAYS fixes the problem.
Dealing with you first thing on a Friday is not the way I want to start my weekend. You are on notice now that I am seeking an alternative. I have found Comcast for my internet; I already canceled my DirecTv, and, once I find a new home phone, you can kiss my ass AT&T!
You suck rotten pig eggs in the deepest corpuscles of Hell.
It is not enough to suck completely at every facet of what you claim to do, my dear AT&T, but you take pride in your sucking. You brag about the "Retention Department" as if having so many people threatening to quit your service that you had to start a subsection of customer service is a good thing. Most companies don't piss off their clients to the point of wanting to quit the service on such a frequent basis. You should look into it.
Here is a novel idea by the way: fire all your customer service people and promote the Retention Department to the front lines? It has gotten to the point now that, when I call you, I just ask for them right out since 9 out of 10 of my calls to you ends up there anyway. It makes me feel bad for them since they are usually quite nice and I am usually quite pissed after dealing with: first, finding your number; second, the "press one, now press three, did you mean two" menu I have to navigate; third, the inbred who answers the phone; fourth, the "non-caring floor supervisor" who did the inbreeding; and then the brilliance of the manager who says there is nothing he can do. Somehow, Retention ALWAYS fixes the problem.
Dealing with you first thing on a Friday is not the way I want to start my weekend. You are on notice now that I am seeking an alternative. I have found Comcast for my internet; I already canceled my DirecTv, and, once I find a new home phone, you can kiss my ass AT&T!
You suck rotten pig eggs in the deepest corpuscles of Hell.
Monday, April 06, 2009
Forgot to Title This
I think people peruse psychology as a profession so they always know where to find a good shrink; I really do. Most people in that profession I know or have to deal with tend to need to visit one of their peers really badly. I am dealing with one right now due to work and he is slowly driving me insane. Every conversation I have with him, it is as if we never spoke before and I have to go over everything again. He asks questions as if I did not just get done answering them and talks down to me as if he deserves respect without giving any. I call him "Dr" every time I deal with him, but he feels like he can call me "Brad" anytime he wishes. No more! I am "Mr. Schader" and will demand to be called as such or else I am going familiar on him and calling him by his first name! His age means nothing to me until he decides to start acting it. Anyone who starts a conversation off by saying to me "you have a lot of G-d damned nerve..." is not going to have a good conversation with me. I don't let my family or employers speak to me that way, so I will certainly not let a fat shrink talk to me like that.
Venting is nice. I doubt I will follow through with any of the above, but it feels damn good to say it.
Venting is nice. I doubt I will follow through with any of the above, but it feels damn good to say it.
Saturday, November 22, 2008
Rats! Curses!
My neighbors tried to tell me that I had rats in my backyard; I say “tried” because they cannot speak English. They tried weeks ago to tell me, through their twelve year old son, that a palm tree I have in my backyard that is artistically overgrown has become a haven for rats, a “rat's nest” if you will. Doubtful, I went into my backyard weeks ago with a broom in hand and smacked the living hell out of the overgrown palm tree. I lifted virtually each and every frond to see if any vermin were hiding in the mass, but not a single rat was seen, so I forgot all about it.
Once again today my neighbors, via their twelve year old son, told me that the tree was a rat's nest and I needed to do something about it. I borrowed a limb cutter from my parents and proceeded to destroy my artistically overgrown palm tree to the tune of a massive mountain of dead fronds all about my backyard, yet not a single rat to be seen in all my cutting, shaking, and pulling. Aside from the logical thought that my cats who spend hours on end in that backyard would have brought me a rat by now if any were there, all that cutting, shaking, and pulling certainly would have disturbed even a deaf rat enough into making some sound, but nothing. I officially became annoyed and let my cats out for their daily run through the neighborhood.
After an hour or two I go outside to watch my cats act like cats and low and behold do I see a grey mouse/rat sitting right by my newly destroyed formerly artistically overgrown palm tree on the white cement wall facing east while Oreo, my black and white seven year old cat sat on the very same white cement wall a mere inches from the mouse/rat, facing west. I stood there in disbelief as Oreo looked to his left and to his right; looked up and down; even looked behind him, yet never saw the rat. The blame does not go entirely to Oreo however since the rat looked in all the same directions and never once saw Oreo. It explained to me two things: 1) there were rats in my backyard and 2) my cats are useless as cats.
I am not one to leave a problem alone once it has made itself known, so I had to discover where exactly these rats were coming from. I live near a canal, so that is certainly the original source, but since my neighbors had been complaining for months, the rats obviously had set up a nest somewhere in the immediate area. I began to check every inch of my backyard, but aside from lots of spiderwebs, a phobia unto itself for me, I did not find anything, so I decided to check the other side of the wall, not on my property and you will never guess what I found! That's right; a hole. There is a hole in the white cement wall just large enough for a rat to fit through and deep enough for me to stick a stick and rock in. The ironic part: it is on my neighbor's side. I informed the president of the home owner's association of the problem and even showed him the hole that I filled with rat poison and he told me all will be taken care of.
I am upset about a few things with this story.
1. My neighbors blamed me immediately without doing any research.
2. They were so convinced they were right that they let the problem go without looking into other sources for months.
3. My neighbors kept using their twelve year old son to tell me which kept me from cursing at them.
4. My cats are useless when it comes to rats.
Once again today my neighbors, via their twelve year old son, told me that the tree was a rat's nest and I needed to do something about it. I borrowed a limb cutter from my parents and proceeded to destroy my artistically overgrown palm tree to the tune of a massive mountain of dead fronds all about my backyard, yet not a single rat to be seen in all my cutting, shaking, and pulling. Aside from the logical thought that my cats who spend hours on end in that backyard would have brought me a rat by now if any were there, all that cutting, shaking, and pulling certainly would have disturbed even a deaf rat enough into making some sound, but nothing. I officially became annoyed and let my cats out for their daily run through the neighborhood.
After an hour or two I go outside to watch my cats act like cats and low and behold do I see a grey mouse/rat sitting right by my newly destroyed formerly artistically overgrown palm tree on the white cement wall facing east while Oreo, my black and white seven year old cat sat on the very same white cement wall a mere inches from the mouse/rat, facing west. I stood there in disbelief as Oreo looked to his left and to his right; looked up and down; even looked behind him, yet never saw the rat. The blame does not go entirely to Oreo however since the rat looked in all the same directions and never once saw Oreo. It explained to me two things: 1) there were rats in my backyard and 2) my cats are useless as cats.
I am not one to leave a problem alone once it has made itself known, so I had to discover where exactly these rats were coming from. I live near a canal, so that is certainly the original source, but since my neighbors had been complaining for months, the rats obviously had set up a nest somewhere in the immediate area. I began to check every inch of my backyard, but aside from lots of spiderwebs, a phobia unto itself for me, I did not find anything, so I decided to check the other side of the wall, not on my property and you will never guess what I found! That's right; a hole. There is a hole in the white cement wall just large enough for a rat to fit through and deep enough for me to stick a stick and rock in. The ironic part: it is on my neighbor's side. I informed the president of the home owner's association of the problem and even showed him the hole that I filled with rat poison and he told me all will be taken care of.
I am upset about a few things with this story.
1. My neighbors blamed me immediately without doing any research.
2. They were so convinced they were right that they let the problem go without looking into other sources for months.
3. My neighbors kept using their twelve year old son to tell me which kept me from cursing at them.
4. My cats are useless when it comes to rats.
Monday, October 13, 2008
Yeah, and Bugger the Other One Too!
Can someone please explain “Columbus Day” to me? We don’t celebrate any other major failures, so why does this guy get his own day? Think about the sheer amount of failures this guy is credited with and you too will be wondering why the Hell he gets a day.
Columbus:
1. Set off to find a new trade route from Europe to India: he didn’t. He never made it even close to India. He instead landed in the Caribbean.
2. Thought he landed in India even though he was not even close and this is why, to this day, Indians are called Indians and the Caribbean is also referred to as the “West Indies.”
3. Never set foot in North America, yet still to this day we credit him with “discovering” the place. Leif Ericson, a Viking, actually did land in America long before Chris ever thought of boats, but he gets nothing. Why? Chris had a better press agent. Perhaps it is the alliteration: Chris Columbus just rolls off the tongue while Leif Ericson is impossible to even spell right without looking up.
4. Still to this day has never found that trade route to India
Did Columbus start our country’s desire to reward the undeserving based on intent rather than accomplishment? Is he to blame for why we accept Bush as President and why we are even considering either candidate we are currently choosing between?
I guess Columbus really is a real American hero and deserving of his own holiday. He did not discover the physical land of America, but perhaps he did discover the “close but no cigar” attitude that makes us and drives us to mediocrity.
Praised Be Jawsus Christ
Columbus:
1. Set off to find a new trade route from Europe to India: he didn’t. He never made it even close to India. He instead landed in the Caribbean.
2. Thought he landed in India even though he was not even close and this is why, to this day, Indians are called Indians and the Caribbean is also referred to as the “West Indies.”
3. Never set foot in North America, yet still to this day we credit him with “discovering” the place. Leif Ericson, a Viking, actually did land in America long before Chris ever thought of boats, but he gets nothing. Why? Chris had a better press agent. Perhaps it is the alliteration: Chris Columbus just rolls off the tongue while Leif Ericson is impossible to even spell right without looking up.
4. Still to this day has never found that trade route to India
Did Columbus start our country’s desire to reward the undeserving based on intent rather than accomplishment? Is he to blame for why we accept Bush as President and why we are even considering either candidate we are currently choosing between?
I guess Columbus really is a real American hero and deserving of his own holiday. He did not discover the physical land of America, but perhaps he did discover the “close but no cigar” attitude that makes us and drives us to mediocrity.
Praised Be Jawsus Christ
Wednesday, August 13, 2008
The Return of the Kanrei Rant
Today’s rant is about political correctness and how incorrect many of those people who think they are correct are actually not. The spark for this rant: the fact that people are protesting Tropical Thunder because they use the word “retarded” for a person mentally handicapped. I wonder just when did the definition of “retarded” change.
The American Heritage Dictionary defines “retarded” as:
re•tard
v. re•tard•ed, re•tard•ing, re•tards
v. tr.
To cause to move or proceed slowly; delay or impede.
v. intr.
To be delayed.
n.
1. A slowing down or hindering of progress; a delay.
2. Music A slackening of tempo.
Now then, a person who is mentally handicapped is, by definition, retarded. I am sorry if the word offends some people, but it is the correct term. The people referred to as retarded are usually developmentally behind; they have mentally proceeded slowly compared to others their age; their mental development has been delayed or impeded.
I have recently seen many cases where the word “retarded” has been compared to the word “nigger” and has even been referred to as the “R-word” in an attempt to make it just as bad of a word, but it isn’t. No one was ever lynched simply for being retarded. To me, an offensive “R-word” is republican, but that is for another rant on another day. Today I am attacking the left because it is the left that seems to need to justify itself by defending everyone they feel cannot defend themselves: a sort of bigotry all on its own really.
True story: I used to work at a pizza place in Tampa and one of my co-workers was a black man. This was around the time “African-American” had replaced the term “black” to describe people of color and, being the good Liberal that I was, I referred to him as an “African-American.” This pissed him off as if I had called him that N-word.
“What makes you think I am African? Because I am black? I am Haitian and my parents are Haitian and so were their parents. We have always lived on Haiti. I have no Africa in me and calling me African-American insults my Haitian heritage. Besides, I don’t call you a German-Jewish-Russian-Polish-American, do I? NO, I say you are white and you are American; one has nothing to do with the other.”
The following day I saw a bumper sticker that read “Proud to be an American: If you Hyphen You are NOT!” This suddenly reinforced my previous days conversation and I realized that by calling a person “African-American” I am splitting their loyalties and lessening their place as an American: it was racism hidden in being non-racist.
Look at it this way:
Queer means different than the norm. A homosexual is different from the norm so it is technically “queer” for someone to be gay.
Gay means happy, and doesn’t everyone want to be happy? Being called gay is not a bad thing. The Flinstones have a gay old time, but that does not Barney is fucking Fred.
Retarded mean slower. A person who is mentally handicapped is mentally retarded.
People need to stop trying to find offense where there is none. The world is an offensive enough place on its own without us trying to create new ways to be offended.
This is KHWL and the time is 24 minutes after the hour. The views reflected here do not reflect KHWL, Kanrei's family, friends, or readers.
The American Heritage Dictionary defines “retarded” as:
re•tard
v. re•tard•ed, re•tard•ing, re•tards
v. tr.
To cause to move or proceed slowly; delay or impede.
v. intr.
To be delayed.
n.
1. A slowing down or hindering of progress; a delay.
2. Music A slackening of tempo.
Now then, a person who is mentally handicapped is, by definition, retarded. I am sorry if the word offends some people, but it is the correct term. The people referred to as retarded are usually developmentally behind; they have mentally proceeded slowly compared to others their age; their mental development has been delayed or impeded.
I have recently seen many cases where the word “retarded” has been compared to the word “nigger” and has even been referred to as the “R-word” in an attempt to make it just as bad of a word, but it isn’t. No one was ever lynched simply for being retarded. To me, an offensive “R-word” is republican, but that is for another rant on another day. Today I am attacking the left because it is the left that seems to need to justify itself by defending everyone they feel cannot defend themselves: a sort of bigotry all on its own really.
True story: I used to work at a pizza place in Tampa and one of my co-workers was a black man. This was around the time “African-American” had replaced the term “black” to describe people of color and, being the good Liberal that I was, I referred to him as an “African-American.” This pissed him off as if I had called him that N-word.
“What makes you think I am African? Because I am black? I am Haitian and my parents are Haitian and so were their parents. We have always lived on Haiti. I have no Africa in me and calling me African-American insults my Haitian heritage. Besides, I don’t call you a German-Jewish-Russian-Polish-American, do I? NO, I say you are white and you are American; one has nothing to do with the other.”
The following day I saw a bumper sticker that read “Proud to be an American: If you Hyphen You are NOT!” This suddenly reinforced my previous days conversation and I realized that by calling a person “African-American” I am splitting their loyalties and lessening their place as an American: it was racism hidden in being non-racist.
Look at it this way:
Queer means different than the norm. A homosexual is different from the norm so it is technically “queer” for someone to be gay.
Gay means happy, and doesn’t everyone want to be happy? Being called gay is not a bad thing. The Flinstones have a gay old time, but that does not Barney is fucking Fred.
Retarded mean slower. A person who is mentally handicapped is mentally retarded.
People need to stop trying to find offense where there is none. The world is an offensive enough place on its own without us trying to create new ways to be offended.
This is KHWL and the time is 24 minutes after the hour. The views reflected here do not reflect KHWL, Kanrei's family, friends, or readers.
Thursday, May 01, 2008
Sony is So Sorry it's Pathetic
A blog has many functions. For some, it is a diary that they can write in from anywhere. For some, it gives a voice to their inner critic, be that entertainment, political, or just general. For some, it is a place to exercise all those wacky and ridiculous thoughts. My blog fills all those needs for me and today it will fill a new one: recording of my spat with Sony.I sent my Playstation 3 into Sony for repairs two weeks ago as many of you know. It was freezing every time I tried to watch a Bluray movie and, since it was still under warranty, I decided to let Sony fix it for me. Well, yesterday I got it back and I was happier than any kid has ever been on any Christmas morning ever and was literally giddy on my drive home from work, eager to try my baby out. Well, five minutes into the Simpson's movie found me staring once again at a frozen PS3. Sony did nothing! I compared the serial number of my new one with the number of my old broken one and found the numbers were the same. I looked on the invoice for what exact repairs were done to my PS3 and it was blank. WHAT THE FUCK?
Quickly, I called Sony’s customer service and was just as quickly transferred to technical support and was just as quickly placed on hold for half an hour. Finally I got someone and began to tell her my story. She was sympathetic and suggested I send it back to them (again) for them to fix. I told her I was not comfortable with that because they already “fixed” it once and obviously could not find the problem, so I asked for a new one. She said they would not send me a new one, but would send me a refurbished one. This means one they had sent in and repaired. I said to her that was not totally acceptable either because, as I had pointed out, they had sent me back this one as repaired so I had little reason to believe they would get it right. I asked her again if I could have a replacement. She said no.
Now, at this point I must pause. I know she is limited in what she can say to me by the “policies and procedures” manual they use, so I asked her to speak to a supervisor, but she said there was no one with the power to give me a new PS3. After ten minutes of circular conversation I finally got someone on the phone with authority, but it was the authority to be an asshole. He said it was not Sony’s policy to replace defective equipment with a new replacement and that it said so clearly on the warranty. Attitude was just dripping off his words. The problem is that the warranty clearly states that Sony will “repair or replace with a new or refurbished unit at Sony’s option” so the option is there. Also, Florida has a lemon law and I did send in my product for repairs and they obviously could not find the problem. That makes my PS3 a lemon. I told the guy he just lost a customer to Xbox and he said “great, have a good day” and hung up.
Long story short- my PS3 still doesn’t play Blu Rays and I am going to try and deal with Sony again tomorrow when I get home and pray I don’t get an asshole. I am too tired today and it will probably devolve into a fight again. I just need to have the person read the warranty along with me and see that there is an option to give me a new one. If they don’t have the same model, I will take a step down. I just want one that works.
Thursday, April 10, 2008
Don't Like the Subject, Wait a Moment and It Will Change
Today…I sit at my desk…bored I tell you….BORED! Most days I have a steady, but not overwhelming stream of work; some days I have too much work, not often, but some days; and then there are days like today, where I finished the bulk of my work by noon and I find myself sitting at my desk with ninety minutes still to go until freedom, sweet freedom finds me and liberates me from the confines of this desk and tiny, windowless office. (Wow, can you believe that actually was NOT a run-on sentence?) Sure, I have my toys to look at, but they are not really “play with me” toys so much as plastic statues of cartoon figures. They do little to alleviate any boredom that might set in other than remind me of how much I love cartoons and how far from watching them I currently am. Besides, at 36 I really can’t afford to be caught playing with my toys in the office. They gossip about me enough without my giving them more fuel. Not bad gossip mind you, it is just that I am the only guy in my office and therefore am the “token Y chromosome” they get to beat up on instead of their husbands/boyfriends. On the plus side, the girls do forget I am here quite often and I get to hear all those wondrous things women say about themselves and men when they think no man is around. Let me assure the men out there- you are missing nothing and should be thankful you never hear these things.
Those clichés of how men are gross and women are not are much exaggerated! I wish to G-d I could develop selective Alzheimer’s to forget some of the mental pictures they have blessed me with. The tales of various PMS dilemmas and sexual encounters are enough to cause nightmares for years to come and I like horror movies. The details they share in these stories also convinces me they claim to not like "those movies" more for the drama of the fight it causes than because they cannot stomach them. I am sorry, but one PMS story contains more graphic gore than 100 Friday the 13ths.
I am now less bored and have found something to do, so thanks for killing some time with me. Can you believe actual work has the nerve to interrupt this rant about how bored I am from not having enough work today? Gosh!
Tuesday, April 08, 2008
I Hope It Makes Sense
I tried to get back into school yesterday, I really did, but the incompetence of the university system that caused me to run screaming fifteen years ago is still very much alive, well, and still in complete control. No matter who you speak to and no matter what their title may be, I can guarantee you that any information you receive from that person, while it may be 100% correct at the time of their telling you, will become 100% wrong by the time you try to act upon it, no matter how fast you try to act. I am convinced the purpose of the university system is not so much to educate a person, but to prepare them for the endless and mind numbing world of bureaucracy they are about to enter into. I am a CDO (or college drop-out) and have felt the sting of my lack of formal education, particularly since I began blogging and realized how few of the grammatical laws I actually remember. It bothers me greatly considering how many actual writers read this blog, and I decided it was time to go and re-learn and try to be an actual writer instead of a meager blogger. No offense to the bloggers out there, but our informal style of writing can really damage one’s style if it is the only way one tends to write. It works online, but would anyone really read a novel written in bloggese?
Back to the subject at hand (these tangents wouldn’t really work either as another example, but that is even more distracting at this moment), I really felt the desire to return to school and yesterday I took the day off work and tried my damnedest and I failed my damnedest. I am not sure if it is because it is summer and they are short on staff or if it is just another example of G-d’s sense of humor when it comes to my life, but they have made it harder to audit a class than it logically should ever be. I mean, if I am not taking the class for a grade, but simply for self-education AND I am willing to pay full price for the class as if I were taking it for a grade, then why do I need to take placement tests before signing up for said class? Especially considering I already took the class years ago which is why I have to audit it in the first place (seems you cannot retake a class you passed). And even if I do have to take the placement tests, why did it take FOUR HOURS for someone to bother telling me that small, but very important detail?! Yes, four hours. You read that correctly. Well, four hours, fifteen windows of talking to various “can I help you” people, twice meeting with advisors, and then trying to sign up for the class before anyone said “we have a problem, you need placement testing first.” I left very fed up and am still upset about it today. A little back-story is needed once again as is par for the course in Kanrei Tales.
I dropped out of college in 1994 with 184 credit hours and no AA degree. I was the victim of a never-ending stream of various advisors saying to me “yes, you are ready to get your degree…..oh wait a minute. You forgot to take this class.” This happened for, let’s see, I started college in 1989, so that would mean five years, or ten straight semesters of this nonsense happening again and again. I got a “D” in a class that the grade was made up of only three tests. I got a “C” on all three tests, but, as the teacher said, “someone had to fail.” Last I checked, I was one credit shy of my AA degree, and that is a biology lab. Why don’t I just take the lab and get my degree? I tried…four times tried and four times failed. A lab is rather difficult without the class attached to it you see. I cannot use my knowledge of the various animal groups to divide these three species unless I actually learn the various animal groups, but I can’t take biology because I took it in 1989 when there was no lab and got a B. They would not let me retake a class I got a B in.
Whew….I feel better now. I am not sure how much of that is grammatically correct (I tried to enroll, but couldn’t) so please excuse any errors you may see. I am not even sure how much of that makes sense, but it needed to come out. You can see that I really need a grammar refresher course. I also need a cigarette now, only I don’t smoke anymore…
Sunday, February 10, 2008
Zombie Rant
Zombie misunderstood. Why shoot zombie? What zombie do? Zombie think you be happy zombie prove life after death, but no. Instead, you shoot zombie. Zombie may be dead, but being shot still hurt zombie; physically and mentally. Ruins suit too. Bad enough zombie flesh falling off without you putting holes in zombie's suit.
Do you think it is easy getting out of a buried grave? There six feet of dirt usually, not to forget also the coffin zombie wakes up to find self in. When zombie break lid, zombie have tons of dirt fall in on top of zombie, further ruining zombie suit. You would be grouchy too.
Zombie also does not ask very much. Most people zombie meet don't use brains anyway, so losing is no big deal. Zombie sorry damaging skull only way to get brain out, but the "twist off" model of human has yet to become popular. Mental institutions do have twist off humans, but they also usually already have the sweet spot of the brain removed. Zombie like brains "pre-lobotomy."
So that is what is on zombie Kanrei's mind tonight. Don't bother telling zombie what on your mind. Zombie like surprises and your brain look tasty.
Do you think it is easy getting out of a buried grave? There six feet of dirt usually, not to forget also the coffin zombie wakes up to find self in. When zombie break lid, zombie have tons of dirt fall in on top of zombie, further ruining zombie suit. You would be grouchy too.
Zombie also does not ask very much. Most people zombie meet don't use brains anyway, so losing is no big deal. Zombie sorry damaging skull only way to get brain out, but the "twist off" model of human has yet to become popular. Mental institutions do have twist off humans, but they also usually already have the sweet spot of the brain removed. Zombie like brains "pre-lobotomy."
So that is what is on zombie Kanrei's mind tonight. Don't bother telling zombie what on your mind. Zombie like surprises and your brain look tasty.
Monday, January 07, 2008
Mommy To the Rescue!!!
My mother found the story and emailed it to me. Once again she comes to save the day. Yay mommy!
So now, without further hesitation, the rant.
Pope Benedict XVI has been a weird pope in my humble and non-Catholic opinion. I am stressing the non-Catholic place that this opinion originates from because it really is none of my concern what this Pope or any Pope for that matter says, but considering how outreaching his predecessor was I must admit to finding his behavior puzzling and I did admire Pope John Paul quite a bit.
We all remember that little problem the Church had a few years ago with frisky priests and little boys in robes, right? Well. the Pope, to his credit, has finally acknowledged the depth of this problem and has, in his infallible wisdom, come up with the best way to solve the problem-prayer: twenty-four hours of continuous prayer. If your church cannot handle the task alone, the burden can be shared among various churches within a parish. He is asking "that every parish or institution should designate a person or group each day to conduct continuous prayers for the Church to rid itself of the scandal of sexual abuse by clergy."
The part that made me laugh uncontrollably? Here:
Notice they do not wish to rid themselves of the clergy that is doing the abuse, just the scandal. Some things are just best left unspoken between a boy and his priest I assume. If Pope Benedict were really serious about clearing the Church of the Predator Priests then perhaps removing Cardinal Bernard Law, the man who allowed so much abuse to go on and on and on, from office instead of insulating him in Rome, would show the world he means to end the abuse and not just the scandal. Perhaps that he even means to protect the children more than he means to protect the Church, or am I just being silly?
I think this is the same guy who said something along the lines that global warming is a myth because only G-d can alter the weather. Yeah....
I am not anti-religion or anti-Christian or even anti-Catholic. Faith to me is, as John Lennon once sang, “whatever gets you through the night.” None of us will ever know what is right and what is wrong about any faith until that moment when we can no longer share that information with anyone else. Until that time, we are all just guessing and hoping that there is anything other than nothing.
The only time I do have an issue with another's faith is when that faith harms other people. Terrorism, mass suicides, human sacrifice, financial scams, political manipulation, abusing the elderly, abusing children, bus bombings, church bombings, abortion clinic bombings- these are all actions that are blamed on faith, but are caused by pride: pride that my faith is better than your faith; pride that my faith is right and you are a fool for not believing; pride that my actions, no matter what they are, will be forgiven because I claim they were done for G-d.
My rants get discombobulated when I get emotional about the subject. I hope I phrased things correctly and did not offend anyone. I don't mean to belittle the Pope, I just feel that it is irresponsible of anyone to ask for prayer by others when actions by themselves would do far more good.
So now, without further hesitation, the rant.
Pope Benedict XVI has been a weird pope in my humble and non-Catholic opinion. I am stressing the non-Catholic place that this opinion originates from because it really is none of my concern what this Pope or any Pope for that matter says, but considering how outreaching his predecessor was I must admit to finding his behavior puzzling and I did admire Pope John Paul quite a bit.
We all remember that little problem the Church had a few years ago with frisky priests and little boys in robes, right? Well. the Pope, to his credit, has finally acknowledged the depth of this problem and has, in his infallible wisdom, come up with the best way to solve the problem-prayer: twenty-four hours of continuous prayer. If your church cannot handle the task alone, the burden can be shared among various churches within a parish. He is asking "that every parish or institution should designate a person or group each day to conduct continuous prayers for the Church to rid itself of the scandal of sexual abuse by clergy."
The part that made me laugh uncontrollably? Here:
However, Cardinal Bernard Law, who was Archbishop of Boston when the scandal broke, was transferred to a post in Rome and remains a respected figure – despite accusations that he did not take strong enough action in dealing with abuse in his diocese.
Notice they do not wish to rid themselves of the clergy that is doing the abuse, just the scandal. Some things are just best left unspoken between a boy and his priest I assume. If Pope Benedict were really serious about clearing the Church of the Predator Priests then perhaps removing Cardinal Bernard Law, the man who allowed so much abuse to go on and on and on, from office instead of insulating him in Rome, would show the world he means to end the abuse and not just the scandal. Perhaps that he even means to protect the children more than he means to protect the Church, or am I just being silly?
I think this is the same guy who said something along the lines that global warming is a myth because only G-d can alter the weather. Yeah....
I am not anti-religion or anti-Christian or even anti-Catholic. Faith to me is, as John Lennon once sang, “whatever gets you through the night.” None of us will ever know what is right and what is wrong about any faith until that moment when we can no longer share that information with anyone else. Until that time, we are all just guessing and hoping that there is anything other than nothing.
The only time I do have an issue with another's faith is when that faith harms other people. Terrorism, mass suicides, human sacrifice, financial scams, political manipulation, abusing the elderly, abusing children, bus bombings, church bombings, abortion clinic bombings- these are all actions that are blamed on faith, but are caused by pride: pride that my faith is better than your faith; pride that my faith is right and you are a fool for not believing; pride that my actions, no matter what they are, will be forgiven because I claim they were done for G-d.
My rants get discombobulated when I get emotional about the subject. I hope I phrased things correctly and did not offend anyone. I don't mean to belittle the Pope, I just feel that it is irresponsible of anyone to ask for prayer by others when actions by themselves would do far more good.
Sunday, December 16, 2007
Voting Rant -OR- I Can't Think of a Decent Title
It is Sunday so it must be time for “Kanrei's Rant.” That weekly douche for the mind of our favorite tinfoil cap wearing Lemming. So, without further procrastination, here's Kanrei
(Insert theme music here)
Don't want to be an American idiot.
One nation controlled by the media.
Information age of hysteria.
It's calling out to idiot America.
Welcome to a new kind of tension.
All across the alien nation.
Where everything isn't meant to be okay.
Television dreams of tomorrow.
We're not the ones who're meant to follow.
For that's enough to argue.
Green Day's American Idiot
Today's rant is less of an actual rant and more of a plea; a plea for my country. You see, we are entering election season with the Iowa caucus happening any day now (I am too lazy to look up the date) and there are or will be commercials on television every few minutes reminding you to do your civic duty and vote. While true, it is only part of the entire “civic duty” requirement. The other part is research, homework, listening and analyzing, weighing consequences and values, and deciding something on your own for an entire nation.
Those commercials telling you to vote are wrong and I am here to beg you not to vote if any of the following are you:
On bended knee I am begging you not to vote if any of these sound like something you would say. Elections are too important of a matter to be left to random chance and public relation firms. Honestly, if a commercial can sway your vote then please, for the love of G-d, don't vote.
OK.....while we usually disavow knowledge of Kanrei's rant, this time we must stress that these opinions are his and, quite often, his alone. They certainly do not in any way, shape, or form reflect the views of KHWL's staff, advertisers, listeners, or detractors. We must apologize for allowing him on the air without eating something first.
You are listening to KHWL and the time is forty-three minutes after the hour.
(Insert theme music here)
Don't want to be an American idiot.
One nation controlled by the media.
Information age of hysteria.
It's calling out to idiot America.
Welcome to a new kind of tension.
All across the alien nation.
Where everything isn't meant to be okay.
Television dreams of tomorrow.
We're not the ones who're meant to follow.
For that's enough to argue.
Green Day's American Idiot
Today's rant is less of an actual rant and more of a plea; a plea for my country. You see, we are entering election season with the Iowa caucus happening any day now (I am too lazy to look up the date) and there are or will be commercials on television every few minutes reminding you to do your civic duty and vote. While true, it is only part of the entire “civic duty” requirement. The other part is research, homework, listening and analyzing, weighing consequences and values, and deciding something on your own for an entire nation.
Those commercials telling you to vote are wrong and I am here to beg you not to vote if any of the following are you:
I don't care who wins, they are all the same
I don't really know who is running.
I always vote “blank” (either Republican or Democrat regardless of who they run)
I don't know that much about the issues
Is there an election coming this year already
Which one will cut my taxes
I will vote for whom the L-rd tells me to vote for
I vote for the one I like as a person more
I vote for who my friends vote for
On bended knee I am begging you not to vote if any of these sound like something you would say. Elections are too important of a matter to be left to random chance and public relation firms. Honestly, if a commercial can sway your vote then please, for the love of G-d, don't vote.
OK.....while we usually disavow knowledge of Kanrei's rant, this time we must stress that these opinions are his and, quite often, his alone. They certainly do not in any way, shape, or form reflect the views of KHWL's staff, advertisers, listeners, or detractors. We must apologize for allowing him on the air without eating something first.
You are listening to KHWL and the time is forty-three minutes after the hour.
Wednesday, December 12, 2007
Bonus Hump-Day Rant
It is perfectly safe to throw stones once your glass house is shattered and good old Mike Huckabee is happily tossing boulders from his shell of an abode. His release of a rapist as Governor of Arkansas and his 1992 desire to segregate people with AIDS are damaging enough to his campaign, but now stating that Mormons believe Jesus and the Devil are brothers is just wonderful. Obviously, a world where Muslims and Jews and Christians constantly try to off each other is not enough for this “preacher”. No, he wants to return to the good old days of Catholic vs. Protestant and Christian against Mormon. Infighting is the way of the future and the future is now!No longer is simply accepting Christ as your personal savior enough to get you into the Promised Land. Sorry to all my fellow Jews out there seeking to be perfected. You see, you need to also decide what flavor of savior is the right one. Jesus Christ is the product, much like a television or a radio, but pick the wrong brand and you are screwed. Sorry Sony, the correct answer was Magnavox. The warranty you bought for this Jesus only gets you out of Hell. To actually enter the Kingdom of G-d, you need to buy this Jesus. Order now and we will include a Saint and two Angels at no extra cost.
Maybe it is just that Rudy and Mitt got so much attention for their lover’s spat that Mike just wants in. Maybe Preacher Mike is getting confused thinking a Chuck Norris endorsement makes him tough through osmosis. I am not sure, but I do know to judge a man not by his words, but by his actions. Preacher Huckabee so far does not seem like a man of G-d to me, or, at the very least, not like a man of a G-d worthy of being worshipped. He must have read his bible sometime in becoming a preacher, so I wonder how he missed “let he who is without sin cast the first stone.”
Monday, December 10, 2007
(Title on Strike)
Update/ Correction-An important correction to Kanrei's original entry is that gaffers, make-up artists, costumers, cameramen etc DO have their own unions - posted by NYC PA Thanks for the correction.
Hello and welcome back to KHWL on the Blogger dial. My name is Kanrei and I am forced to introduce myself today because Ed, the announcer guy has gone on a sympathy strike in support of the Lemmings who still have yet to go over the cliff. I wish I could tell you exactly how long the strike has gone on, but my fact checker has gone on strike in support of my announcer guy. I also will not be taking any calls for a little while because my call screener has gone on strike to support his sisters in the fact checking department, but that one really doesn't hurt all that much considering my caller has gone on strike to show unity with the call screener who is striking to support the fact checking sisterhood (just trying to get laid if you ask me, but you didn't hear that here) who are striking to support the announcer guy who will not introduce me until the Lemmings go over the cliff. And why are the Lemmings striking anyway? I can't tell you that... their reason, it seems, has gone on strike.
Now, on with today's rant.
(Theme music on strike so please hum something catchy here)
Ironically, today's rant has to do with the current writer's strike and why I have slowly begun to switch sides in the fight. I am going to apologize in advance for any offense I may create by defending my newly growing position, but I really am starting not to support the studios per say, but I am having a very hard time supporting the writers.
It is ironic to me that “liberal guilt” is what is driving me to not support the strike, but that seems to be the primary thorn sticking in my paw when I tried to march for the writer's. You see, their quest for a percent or two is literally destroying numerous families at this time of year and, because these people have no union, their stories are going untold.
A show or movie take a tad bit more than a writer, a producer, actors, and a studio to create; read a credit roll some time instead of rushing out to your car sometime and you will see how many people it takes. And these people, these hundreds of low wage earners are now unemployed, or, more correctly, fired for the holiday season. The writer's will not work and the studios cannot afford to pay the masses for nothing.
Looking at it from a more distant view point, what about all those businesses in Los Angeles that these gaffers, make-up artists, assistants, set designers, and such frequent? I am sure these people are eating out quite a bit less considering the strike is now looking endless which means their employment hopes in their chosen field are rather slim right now.
Now for the possible offensive part. I really do not mean to belittle the writers considering I do consider myself one. OK...
While film writers do have a point when it comes to getting a cut from the profits of their work, it is a different story with the “studio pool” writers in my humble opinion. They are hired by the studio to write. What they write is sometimes their choice, but sometimes not. They are performing the task to which they were hired. They were paid for performing said task. Anything more is up to the discretion of their employers. For example:
I would really like to hear your perspectives on this. We are all either writers in reality or fantasy and this is an issue that will play into all of our futures if all goes well.
You are listening to KHWL and I can't tell you what time it is right now because my clock has just gone on strike in support of the callers who are showing unity with the call screener who is trying to get laid by the striking fact checker who is supporting my announcer guy who just wants the Lemmings to go over the cliff already.
Whew, that is getting hard to say. Of course, if my readers are on strike then I just babbled to myself. Does that mean I am going insane? Who am I asking?
Hello and welcome back to KHWL on the Blogger dial. My name is Kanrei and I am forced to introduce myself today because Ed, the announcer guy has gone on a sympathy strike in support of the Lemmings who still have yet to go over the cliff. I wish I could tell you exactly how long the strike has gone on, but my fact checker has gone on strike in support of my announcer guy. I also will not be taking any calls for a little while because my call screener has gone on strike to support his sisters in the fact checking department, but that one really doesn't hurt all that much considering my caller has gone on strike to show unity with the call screener who is striking to support the fact checking sisterhood (just trying to get laid if you ask me, but you didn't hear that here) who are striking to support the announcer guy who will not introduce me until the Lemmings go over the cliff. And why are the Lemmings striking anyway? I can't tell you that... their reason, it seems, has gone on strike.Now, on with today's rant.
(Theme music on strike so please hum something catchy here)
Ironically, today's rant has to do with the current writer's strike and why I have slowly begun to switch sides in the fight. I am going to apologize in advance for any offense I may create by defending my newly growing position, but I really am starting not to support the studios per say, but I am having a very hard time supporting the writers.
It is ironic to me that “liberal guilt” is what is driving me to not support the strike, but that seems to be the primary thorn sticking in my paw when I tried to march for the writer's. You see, their quest for a percent or two is literally destroying numerous families at this time of year and, because these people have no union, their stories are going untold.
A show or movie take a tad bit more than a writer, a producer, actors, and a studio to create; read a credit roll some time instead of rushing out to your car sometime and you will see how many people it takes. And these people, these hundreds of low wage earners are now unemployed, or, more correctly, fired for the holiday season. The writer's will not work and the studios cannot afford to pay the masses for nothing.
Looking at it from a more distant view point, what about all those businesses in Los Angeles that these gaffers, make-up artists, assistants, set designers, and such frequent? I am sure these people are eating out quite a bit less considering the strike is now looking endless which means their employment hopes in their chosen field are rather slim right now.
Now for the possible offensive part. I really do not mean to belittle the writers considering I do consider myself one. OK...
While film writers do have a point when it comes to getting a cut from the profits of their work, it is a different story with the “studio pool” writers in my humble opinion. They are hired by the studio to write. What they write is sometimes their choice, but sometimes not. They are performing the task to which they were hired. They were paid for performing said task. Anything more is up to the discretion of their employers. For example:
I wrote the company news letter for where I work. I designed it, did all the research for it, wrote the stories, and published it. That was my job and I was paid to do it, but, when push comes to shove, my boss owns all that I produced. I can include it in a portfolio of my work, but, if he were to sell those articles to some other company, I am not entitled to one cent of it. I would hope I would see something for it and would be hurt if I didn't, but I really am not “entitled” to any of it.
I would really like to hear your perspectives on this. We are all either writers in reality or fantasy and this is an issue that will play into all of our futures if all goes well.
You are listening to KHWL and I can't tell you what time it is right now because my clock has just gone on strike in support of the callers who are showing unity with the call screener who is trying to get laid by the striking fact checker who is supporting my announcer guy who just wants the Lemmings to go over the cliff already.
Whew, that is getting hard to say. Of course, if my readers are on strike then I just babbled to myself. Does that mean I am going insane? Who am I asking?
Sunday, December 02, 2007
Post 499 -OR- Tis The Season, Bah Humbug
KHWL is proud to present: Kanrei's Rant. A weekly feature where our very own lemming extraordinaire, Kanrei, will take requests throughout the week for subjects that bother you beyond words, and, on Sunday night, will create a complaining, bitching, ranting, raving, hollering, foaming work of art for your enjoyment. Hey, if a piece of tin welded to an umbrella next to a bucket of piss can be art, then so can these rants, regardless of their quality.And now, ladies and gentlemen, it's time for Kanrei's Rant.
(insert theme music here)
Fa-la-la, la-la, la-la, la, la
My holiday doesn't get enough respect
Wah-wa-wa, wah-wa, wah-wah, wa, wa.
Sure there are others
But they don't matter
Cause mine is the one that I like best
So stop your whining
And join my party
Ha-ha-ha, ha-ha, ha-ha, ha, Haaaaaaaaa!
Yes, that's right, it is my former favorite time of year once again. I loved “free stuff days” as my adolescent self would call them: the Hanukkah and Christmas season. Everyone always perked up around this time of year. Adults enjoyed a relatively lower work load while children dreamed year round of getting that great new bike and having two weeks free from school in which to enjoy it. Then it all changed...
Suddenly, without warning, a war was declared from out of nowhere. This was a war where the only people who seemed to be aware of it were those who felt themselves persecuted by it. There were no casualties as a result of this supposed war, but there have been many since the perceived persecuted have decided to fight back against all enemies; particularly those imagined. Now, because of this, “Merry Christmas” has become the seasonal way of saying “F*ck You” today instead of the warm greeting it once was.
In every parking lot in America today, I personally guarantee that there is, at any given time, at least one car boasting “The Reason for the Season.” Where we once looked at the many faiths as simply many paths to the same place, we now view even acknowledging another faith as a threat to our very own survival. There cannot be any other holiday during any given season- plain and simple. My faith is the right one and, therefore, any other holiday is an offense to my G-d because, in spite of being omniscient and omnipresent, He is very insecure and needs constant reassuring. I worship my G-d because He needs me; supernatural co-dependence compounded with father abandonment issues I would guess, but this way is easier. As long as I see some threat that I must fight against, I can ignore those pesky day-to-day details of my life that haunt my dreams at night.
Two simple questions:
1.If G-d is as powerful as you proclaim, then does He really need you to attack the other faiths? If they really bug Him that much then I am sure He could do something about it.
2.Is any G-d so insecure that He needs a steady stream of reassuring from His followers really worthy of unquestioning devotion?
Ramadan vs Christmas, Ramadan vs Hanukkah, Christmas vs Quanza, It is all pointless and destroys the one central theme to all the holidays of this season- peace on Earth and goodwill towards man.
What we need, and quickly, is the return of the classic Coke commercial from my childhood because “I would like to teach the world to sing in perfect harmony. I'd like to buy the world a Coke and keep it company."
Is it a coincidence that this ad faded away and the the world went insane?
The views expressed here are those of Kanrei and do not necessarily reflect those of the owners, staff, or advertisers of KHWL.
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