Today…I sit at my desk…bored I tell you….BORED! Most days I have a steady, but not overwhelming stream of work; some days I have too much work, not often, but some days; and then there are days like today, where I finished the bulk of my work by noon and I find myself sitting at my desk with ninety minutes still to go until freedom, sweet freedom finds me and liberates me from the confines of this desk and tiny, windowless office. (Wow, can you believe that actually was NOT a run-on sentence?) Sure, I have my toys to look at, but they are not really “play with me” toys so much as plastic statues of cartoon figures. They do little to alleviate any boredom that might set in other than remind me of how much I love cartoons and how far from watching them I currently am. Besides, at 36 I really can’t afford to be caught playing with my toys in the office. They gossip about me enough without my giving them more fuel. Not bad gossip mind you, it is just that I am the only guy in my office and therefore am the “token Y chromosome” they get to beat up on instead of their husbands/boyfriends. On the plus side, the girls do forget I am here quite often and I get to hear all those wondrous things women say about themselves and men when they think no man is around. Let me assure the men out there- you are missing nothing and should be thankful you never hear these things.
Those clichés of how men are gross and women are not are much exaggerated! I wish to G-d I could develop selective Alzheimer’s to forget some of the mental pictures they have blessed me with. The tales of various PMS dilemmas and sexual encounters are enough to cause nightmares for years to come and I like horror movies. The details they share in these stories also convinces me they claim to not like "those movies" more for the drama of the fight it causes than because they cannot stomach them. I am sorry, but one PMS story contains more graphic gore than 100 Friday the 13ths.
I am now less bored and have found something to do, so thanks for killing some time with me. Can you believe actual work has the nerve to interrupt this rant about how bored I am from not having enough work today? Gosh!
2 comments:
Unfortunately, I think that when one finds himself in the position of being the only male in the gang, the women sort of start thinking of him as "one of the girls" and let the "girl talk" fly. I used to work in a place where there was only one man, and I'm sure we gave that poor guy nightmares.
No one can be more gross than women.
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