Tuesday, January 15, 2008

But What About the Olives?

Sometimes I find myself in the mood to blog without really having anything particularly interesting to say. Well, using “sometimes” is kind of an indirect lie since it implies that most times I do have something interesting to say. Trust me; I have nothing interesting to say. I know this because I have a certain insight into my own mind; I tend to hear not only all the things I say out loud, but also all those “private” thoughts that should not be heard by anyone ever, including me.

In fact, I am probably the last person who should be hearing any of those not meant to be heard thoughts considering how deeply and thoroughly I tend to overanalyze most things. I can take a rather benign thought and turn it into the most vicious of slams while taking an honest slam and filing it under “complement.”

I wonder what it means when you are so dense you can’t even pick up on insults coming from yourself while at the same time being so vain that you take other insults as compliments to your character.

“Wow that was two paragraphs of total and complete crap. I should sue you to get those moments of my life back.”

If you think that was pointless, wait until you read this paragraph. You see, this one exists just so that the last one you read is not the last thing you read here. Of course, this assumes that you did not quit reading this nonsensical nonsense two paragraphs ago.

If you are still reading, does that make you a masochist? Does that infer I am a sadist for writing this stuff? Do you think these last two paragraphs should actually be three or more or maybe even one large paragraph? Don’t you wish I was ranting about politics right about now instead?

7 comments:

rkfinnell said...

I often blog when I have nothing to say and nobody listens. LOL

Camille Alexa said...

...If you are still reading, does that make you a masochist? Does that infer I am a sadist for writing this stuff? Do you think these last two paragraphs should actually be three or more or maybe even one large paragraph?

You sound exactly like a genuine, h-to-g writer to me.

Serena said...

Okay, I read the whole thing, but -- but -- where are the olives? I saw no olives. Were there olives? Has my reading comprehension turned to mush?

So, seriously, I insult myself frequently. I rant. I have no idea what I'm ranting about. Or why. All any of this means is that, like Camille said, you're a writer, babe. Don't worry, you'll get used to it.:)

Nessa said...

Did you say something?

Ed & Jeanne said...

Wait a minute. I expected a lucid rant or an abstract idea. You're squeezing in on my reign over nonsense. The Dude does not abide! This isn't Kanrei Home for Wayward Nonsense just like mine isn't Fantastical Lemmings. I'm calling my lawyers (this is where I secretly call dial-a-joke because I have no lawyers).

Unknown said...

LOL, a h-to-g writer? Take that back! What did I ever do to you?

SJ,
Exactly. Your comprehension skills are wonderfully accurate, but what about the olives?

Nessa,
Nothing of consequence.

VE,
This was not "nonsense" IMHO. It made perfect sense. It was a post about nothing and, if I don't mind saying, nothing is my domain. I rule nothing. Nothing respects me and nothing answers to me so nothing is my domain. =P

I am generous however, so I can share. What is half of nothing?

Ed & Jeanne said...

Don't worry Kan...it was nothing