And Still More

“Your Honor,” Stanley prepared to make another ridiculous statement in a long career of ridiculous statements, “it's very easy to view my client as the psychopathic killer the prosecution is so eager to portray him as, but I ask you to look at his supposed 'crimes' and ask yourself if a 'psychopathic killer' would really be capable of the things my client is accused of.
“Do you have any idea how difficult it is to kill someone using only an eggbeater, a spatula, and a misshapen large novelty paper clip? And not just one person, but sixteen people no less! Sixteen healthy teens, two dogs, and a pet gopher: all with an eggbeater, a spatula, and a misshapen large novelty paper clip? Does this really sound like the work of a 'psychopathic killer?' Could a 'psychopathic killer', a man so insane that he is compelled to kill; would such a man show such creativity I ask you? No, not a psychopath, but an artist, your Honor...an artist would.
“Yes your honor, this man, my client, the accused, is an artist. Sure, his medium is slightly unconventional and his presentation extreme, but he is an artist none the less and to find him guilty is to infringe on his first amendment rights to free expression, speech, and religion. Yes, religion! It may not be one you practice, or one I practice, or one anyone on Earth other than this man practices or has even heard of, but he practices it and you cannot infringe on that right either, or did we move this trial from America?
“The defense rests.”

Stanley took his seat next to his psychopathic misunderstood artist of the week. He had used this defense once before on an incredibly stupid jury in Jersey and it actually worked, but this Judge looked as if she were paying attention. That, and female judges are always harder on the serial killers with teenage victims for some reason.

Stanley glanced at his client and noticed for the first time a rather disturbing ear to ear grin the man kept on his face. He wasn't' sure if it was always there or if he was just happy with the defense, but either way he wished the guy would cut it out. It was one of the creepiest things Stanley had ever seen. It was creepy to the point of him not really needing the mask he wore to kill at all.

Stanley leaned in and whispered in his clients ear, “why did you wear that George Bush mask anyway?”

“ I was making a statement.”

“What was the statement?”

“It was open to interpretation.”