Thinking on a Friday? Wow!

Moms are amazing creatures when you think about it. No other creature on this planet can look at you and know exactly how to phrase something that will dig its way through any defense you may have up and get right to the heart of the matter. It really is amazing to me.

My mom has issues with my being alone. She cannot fathom how anyone can stand to always be alone to say nothing of preferring it. She worries that, while I may be happy in my youth alone, there may come a time later in life that I want to change my status only to find it too late. It is a very valid concern and one that I have myself from time to time, but my old age is far off and today I enjoy my solitude. It is an issue we have gone back and forth on for many years now.

Yesterday, my mom cut to the chase of the matter and phrased exactly how my being alone is damaging me in the short term and I finally saw it for myself for the first time.

“Brad,” she said, “you are becoming a Republican.”

Fuck, that hurt! An asshole I can take; stubborn I already knew; uptight I can sort of see, but a Republican? Christ man! That really cuts deep; to the bone almost.

I have always had a theory that socialization makes a person more liberal. That the more people one interacts with the more their personal beliefs are challenged and the more they start to understand that reality is a perspective game. What is true for one is not always true for all. This understanding really can only come about from socializing with other people.

When one is alone most of the time one comes to conclusions and beliefs constantly about everything they see and feel and hear, but, with no one to share these thoughts with, it becomes very easy to fall into the trap of “I am right because I hear no objections.” To me, that defines Republicans and I can see my mom knew this about me as well.

My mother wants me to go back to school. If not for a degree, then at least to interact with people, expand my thoughts, and challenge my beliefs. I have told her every time she brings it up that I would “next semester.” I think “next semester” has finally arrived. I don’t want to be a Republican. I want an open mind. I want to understand the plights of the downtrodden and try to help, not stand by and think “sucks to be them.” I want to be “Brad, the Kanrei” again. I know I’m still in here somewhere. I hope I haven’t lost me completely yet.

It’s Friday by the way.