I Live!!!! Oh Thank the Deity of Your Choice I Live!!!

I have no idea how exactly I made it home today alive. I should have died at least four times by my count and I am a lazy counter so the actual number is probably closer to six. I can honestly say, without fear of committing hyperbole that I have never seen as heavy of rain as I saw today. Forget measuring this one in inches and instead check for anyone building an ark with a rather large animal collection nearby. This storm is biblical.

On the drive home it was a total white-knuckle ride. There was zero visibility to begin with, but nature had to one up itself by adding waves of water completely overpowering my wipers and leaving me looking through a fish eye. It was surreal. There were moments I felt like I wasn't moving and looked as if I wasn't moving, but my speedometer said 10MPH so I obviously was moving. I lived through hurricanes and have not seen rain this thick before in my life. Bad day to leave work early.

Looking out my window from the safety of my house it is obvious that G-d spilled His drink. I think maybe He needs to lighten up on His mid-week drinking. I can think of no other reason small chunks of ice would be smashing into the roof of my car in Florida while I was driving home. I can also think of no other reason the morning temperature of 98 is now an afternoon temperature of 66. It is supposed to get warmer as the day progresses, not have a 30 degree drop. I really hope I am still in Florida.

Oreo, my little hellion of a cat usually greets me at the door everyday when I get home from work...wait, that is incorrect. Oreo, my little hellion of a cat usually tries to bolt past me to freedom everyday as I get home from work, but not today. Today he simple peaked his head around the corner and gave me a single soft “meow.” The cat equivalent of “sup” I believe. Right now he is still in my closet which is endlessly ironic to me since that room still slightly leaks in very heavy storms. Not the best place to hide from falling water in my humble opinion.

The best course of action is obviously to take a nap. Sleeping in rain is great. Actually sleeping in rain is rather hard, but sleeping indoors during a rainstorm is amazing. Nature's perfect and sweetest lullaby. I just wish the angels were not quite the bowling enthusiasts they are today. I am a grown man I know, but thunder still gets to me sometimes. It's like those cheap “jump scares” in movies. You know it is coming, but the exact moment when still catches you off-guard.

Good night to all. Hope my house holds up and I don't wake up in Kansas.