Kanrei and the Curse of Spiderman 3

I owe an apology to the Lemmings. It appears we do have “gamer gals” who read this site. Please forgive me for my ignorance. I made an assumption which made an ass out of you and “umption.” Nothing makes an ass out of me = D.

Since you expressed interest in games, allow me to regale you with the tale of “Kanrei and the Curse of Spiderman 3.” It is a sad and tragic tale of expectation, regret, and anguish. I hope you are prepared for it. If not, I will wait….ready?

Spiderman 2 was an amazing movie, but I honestly loved the video game so much more. Watching Spiderman fight Doc Ock for two hours is fun, but playing as Spiderman in a 20 hour plus game is so much better. Add the fact that the Spiderman 2 game took the “Sandbox” approach to gaming and you have perfection. (Sandbox is a gamer term for allowing the player freedom to do what they want to in the game environment. It gives the player multiple missions at the same time and lets the player decide how and when to complete them.) I milked the game out to four months if one includes time spent swinging through a very well re-created New York. Oh how I could not wait for part 3.

On the day Spiderman 3 was released most people ran to their local theater, but not me. I ran to my local Toys R Us and bought my copy of the game for the Playstation 2. Most people do not want anything to ruin the movie; I did not want the movie to ruin the game. Ironically, the company releasing the game ruined it for me. The PS2 version was half a game at best and I beat it in 7 hours. Compare that to the four months I spent on the previous one and you can imagine my disgust. Where was my Spideman game??!! What the Hell happened?

I went online to find out why the game sucked as badly as it did. It seemed like half the story was missing. Things would happen and reference something that never did. It was annoying and online I found out why- two different companies released the game. One company did the Xbox360/PS3 versions and another did the NintendoWii/ PS2 versions. One company made a full game and the other basically packaged hi-lights. A warning on the box would have been nice.

So there I am sitting and jonesing for my Spiderman experience. The reviews told me that the game I was expecting was released on the PS3, but I did not have one. What I did have was a tax return and no real need for the cash. Tax return + Jones for a game= New game system in my house.

I cannot tell you exactly how much I spent on my PS3, Spiderman 3, Tony Hawk Project 8, and protection plan because I asked the saleslady not to tell me. I said she should just ring up my card and hide the total from my sight. I am not good at spending mass amounts of cash at one sitting, but I really wanted it and feared a heart attack in the store. Not a good sight for the kiddies although the sight of a man dying while buying a gaming system might make them think twice before asking their parents in fear of bumping them off.

I have still not finished the Spiderman game just yet, but I can tell from reading all the reviews of the movie that I made the right choice in playing the game first. I am loving every second of swinging through Manhattan and have not once thought of the money I spent to do it. I cannot wait for the next Spiderman game although I hear there is a new Final Fantasy coming out that promises over 100 hours of game time. Oh joy! I have never been so happy to have no life.

If you wonder where Kanrei is, just look at the skyscrapers and you will see me swinging on a silken strand of webbing and fighting crime to make the world safer for you. Am I a nice guy or what?