Semi-Forced Post

The Rock and Roll Hall of Fame always struck me as a ridiculous self-congratulatory form of monumental masturbation. To erect a building in order to recognize and immortalize yourself will always strike me as monumental masturbation, that is not even my major complaint about the RnRHoF. My biggest complaint about it is that it is not even a proper tribute to Rock and Roll.

Rock and Roll has always been about rebellion so how can a museum properly express this attitude so important and fundamental to rock and roll? It can’t is the short answer and the long answer is much the same with a few choice profane words mixed in. There is no possible way any museum can properly do a better job of showing what Rock and Roll is better than the music already contained on the vinyl.

If they want to immortalize rock and roll, they should focus on the music and not the gimmicks used by the bands to get some glimpse of fame. The boots KISS wore are neat to look at, but it has nothing to do with their contribution or lack thereof to Rock and Roll: it was simply what they used to distract from the reality that they honestly could not play. They knew the notes, but not the music.

The Hall of Shame has also weakened its credibility by adding non-Rock musicians to their ranks. Would Richard Petty be included in the NFL Hall of Fame? Of course not because Richard Petty was NASCAR and we are talking about a football hall of fame, so why are country and rap artists in the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame?

The Sugarhill Gang, Mellie Mel and the Furious Five, Run DMC, etc are all pioneers and they started a form of music that is dominate today, but they are not rock and roll. I have never heard these bands on any rock radio station in my life. They are hip-hop and should get the starring role in a Hip-Hip Hall of Fame, not have their contribution to music diminished by mis-categorizing them. Remember, I am talking about the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame, not the Recorded Music Hall.

Finally, everyone is making such a big deal about Van Halen not showing up this year as they are inducted. It boils down to Eddie and David not getting along….again. This would be the fourth called off reunion for these guys, but that is rock and roll to its core. Paul McCartney/ John Lennon, Jimmy Page/ Robert Plant, Mick Jagger/ Keith Richards- the list is endless of songwriting teams that hated each other. It is practically required for success in music. I can think of nothing more fitting than a band so at war with themselves that they cannot even accept an award together. How “Rock and Roll” is that?

As of now Michael Anthony is the only original member who is going to show up at the ceremony. David refuses because he is not allowed sing at the show. Instead, the Hall is going to have Velvet Revolver perform covers of Van Halen classics. What the hell is that about? The bassist and singer for Van Halen are going to be there and are willing to perform and those in charge of the Hall are opting for a cover band? Now the lead singer is so insulted he is not coming at all. Some honor.

“Thanks for what you did guys, but we feel you are too old now and we want to give the spotlight to these guys with a new album coming out.”

The Hard Rock Café is a better tribute to rock and roll than this stupid monumental masturbation complex. At least the Hard Rock has good food and mass commercialism to go with their dusty guitars and KISS boots. Booze, food, and cash- now that is “Rock and Roll”, baby!