Woke up this morning and shook hands with my toaster. I got the bottom of my finger on that glowing red eye thing and the top on the roof of my toaster. The bagel was laughing like mad- it knew I was planning on eating it and I don’t think it was too keen on the idea. It must have arranged this last minute reprieve with my cat who caused the chaos at just the right moment to make my eyes turn and my hand miss the bagel completely. Pain for sure, but wakes you up faster than caffeine.Someone or something or some force took that entire “Black Wednesday” thing a little too seriously as well because today at work literally was a black Wednesday. I have been here for an hour about so far and the power has already gone off, turned back on, turned off again, stayed off, ,and is back on.
The wondrous and melodic chirps of a sea of battery back-ups screeching with all their might bounced off the walls, ricocheted off the floors, and went directly into my ears. A loud dark office is no place to be while one’s finger is throbbing to a techno beat. Then, as my headache was about to match the pain in my finger, the power suddenly turned on and I had to return to work thankfully. My finger still hurts, but at least now I can watch it go from red and irritated to white and puffy.
Stay tuned for more elements of Kanrei’s growing insanity. Only here at the Lemming House.
Next time on “The Lemming House”- Kanrei goes for a cigarette break only to discover his lighter is resting comfortably on his computer desk AT HOME.
4 comments:
You can at least rest in the knowledge that you are not the only one (not that it really helps).
When I lived in Italy as a kid we had a freezer that was so cold thing would freeze to it immediately....I would wash dishes and when my fingers were wet touch the metal and it would intstantly freeze...
Well, one time I left my fingers on too long and they stuck to the metal, FROZEN SOLID....I screamed for my dad but the house was three stories high and it took awihle for him to hear me...
Frostbite on both fingers..
Rex,
I want to read the story of your life. I am serious. Every time you post I learn something new about you that makes me want to know more. You lived in Italy?
I think the frozen would actually hurt more than the burn. I went numb pretty quick and now it is more annoying than pain.
Victor,
Let's form the Valentine Hater's Club. Roxan would join as well. We just have to make sure Southern Writer knows it is the holiday we hate and not her.
I totally got what you were saying about the rampant procreation on Scary M's, btw. Brav-freakin-o. Seriously.
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