Oh Do It Baby (Do the Humpty Hump)

A Blast from the Past for your Friday

Return of the Friday (Hide the Children)

My damn Word has expired again! Even worse, they actually will not let me reinstall the free demo for a tenth time. I am Wordless and it is looking like I am going to actually have to buy the damn program if I intend to continue blogging or else blog more from work which will not make my boss the happiest of campers. Oh irony of ironies to lose my publishing program the day my arm decides to allow me to type again. Is this a sign from the invisible father figure in the sky?

For the record, this is Friday and this is the “It’s Friday” update. Welcome back everyone to the Lemming House. Thankfully (or sadly) not much has happened during these last few weeks that I have been away from my computer. I have avoided the internet for the most part these last few weeks, have not played video games, and have lost touch with the world of politics and pop culture. It has been a wonderful vacation for my psyche, but I really did not expect the worlds of politics and pop culture to explode quite so much while I was gone. Last vacation I take…

Princess Diana Monroe is going to jail and I missed it! Alberto Gonzalez is busted misleading Congress and I missed it! Spiderman 3 breaks every record known to man and I missed it! Birdie hit the road and I missed it! The “Dear Twit” letters have continued and I have missed them! Scary Monster posted eight really weird things about himself and I missed it! Damn my arm sometimes, just damn it!

News in the Kanrei Lemming Universe- I broke down after receiving my tax return and bought a Playstation 3 the other day. I tried playing the Spiderman 3 game on my PS2, but it was horrible beyond description and, since I care more for the Spiderman games than I do the movies, I had to run out and upgrade my home gaming system. $800 later and I can honestly say the only regret I have is that I must leave it to go to work.

And this is before I even have it hooked up to a HD TV (because I don’t have one) or have it online. Imagine how great it will be once I get the system working in all its glory! A review will be coming I guarantee. I have not given the system the attention it deserves to write about it just yet, but it is certainly thus far impressive. Once my arm is 100% I intend to screw it up once again swinging through Manhattan fighting crime and saving innocents.

I have missed you all and am so happy to be back. I have so much to read this weekend on each of your blogs and I cannot wait. Thank you for waiting for me.

Um....Yea?

Serena has asked a very scary question. The nightmares you are about to have are to be blamed entirely on her and not I, your humble Lemming host. All I am here to do is to fulfill your requests and, as Serena is among the first Lemming to find her way home, I cannot deny her any request, no matter how damaging it may be to the psyche of the other Lemmings. I am positive she meant no harm in asking her question and it does appear on the surface to be a rather benign question, but considering whom she asked it of she should have known better. What is that old saying about the road to Hell and good intentions?

Here is Serena's question from the "Typing Feels Good" thread:

If you're looking for something worth saying, how about having a gander at the age-old question: What the hell IS the meaning of life?:)

Considering I am a person who sees infinite possibilities on how to get from point A to point B, this could be the most rambling post of my short blogging career. I mean the meaning of life? Wouldn't 42 just about cover that? Or how about that bumper sticker I saw in 1990 in Buffalo,NY at a Deadshow that simply said: "The Meaning of Life is to Give Life Meaning". Would that take care of life's lack of a real meaning?

Yes, you read that correctly- life has no meaning. None! No purpose or plan or rhyme or reason. Life is a blank slate that is a gift and a curse that each of us must define and assign a value to. Each life we live is certainly a step in some great journey no doubt, but the journeyman has no clue where he is going. He is just wandering about and smelling the flowers.

The common belief is that we are here to continue life; to reproduce and ensure our species existence, but that is rather shallow and short sighted to me. We exist only to continue existing? No wonder these people cling to ancient and archaic beliefs of invisible father-figures in the clouds.

If there is an invisible father-figure in the clouds then we are here only to provide entertainment to him. It is possible that each of us are a different show the invisible father-figure tunes into from time to time. Death is being canceled and reincarnation is being renewed. Reproducing is simply syndicating and spin-off shows. Omnipotence must be so boring.

Personally, I am still not yet convinced any of you really exist outside my warped mind and I realize talking to myself is a sign of insanity so I decline to answer the question on the grounds in may incriminate me.

Typing Feels Good

I am back (I think)! My neck is stiff still and there is some tightness in my arm, but the pain is gone for the most part and feeling is slowly returning. My month-long Hell is just about over with until this time next year! You see, my body breaks down on a schedule that I am only now starting to figure out.

Every February I get the flu. Every May my left arm acts up. Every November my left knee swells. Every other September I get hit by a hurricane. It is good to have a plan I suppose and even better to figure it out. It appears I am now good until September since I did not get hit by a hurricane last year. I am ready.

I misspoke in my last post I am afraid and exaggerated the nature of my injury. It is not a slipped disk as much as a herniated one. That is far less of a major problem and I am sorry for the confusion.

Now all I need is something worth saying and my blog is back.

Freaky Funky Friday

Been a long time since I blogged on a Friday/
I used to have so much to say on this day/
It’s been a long time/
Been a long time/
Been a long lonely, lonely, lonely, lonely…
Time

Almost back to full form and I cannot tell you how happy I am to say I slept last night! My alarm had to wake me up for the first time in three years this morning (thank G-d I am still in the habit of setting it) and I actually feel refreshed. This can only mean one thing- the pain is letting me get some sleep: it is fading.

I am not going to go full force with the blogging just yet however. I am going to give myself the weekend to completely heal up. Even typing this I can feel the joints creaking and chafing in my hand. It is not a pleasant feeling I can assure you, but does feel kind of funky. It is something I am not used to feeling so I must admit I am playing with the popping just a little even though I know I shouldn’t, but it is so fun to gross out my co-workers with.

I am a little surprised at how many of my fellow bloggers keep their blogs hidden from all those they know. I am so proud of my blog that I tend to force my co-workers and friends to read it and even feel a bit offended when they tell me they haven’t in a while. Perhaps it is the solitary nature of my existence that makes me feel the need to share my blog with others. Is it fear of offending someone that makes you all keep the blog private, or is it something more that the blog represents to you? I am curious since I share my blog so openly with everyone and have yet to hold back anything as a result.

I mean if I can write a four part piece about getting busted at a Dead show when my employer reads my blog then I can post anything.

Thinking of Each and Every One of You

Downside of things: I still have some numbness in my fingertips and find myself horribly behind on all my favorite blogs. I am clueless as to the happenings in the world around me since I only get my news from the internet and I am also dreadfully behind in the world of pop culture.

Upside of things: An old friend has invited me to see the sold out Roger Waters show with her on May 18th I believe it was. I have not really spoken to her much in the last decade, but have never forgotten her and am not sure if I am more excited to see Roger or her. Also, being so far behind on all my favorite blogs gives me plenty to do this weekend.

My physical therapist does not think it is carpal tunnel I have so much as a slipped disk. I am not sure if that is good news or bad, but I am slowly getting better. The splint at night and cold-packs during the day in addition to my stretches are working wonders. As Dave Mustane once wrote- time has a way of taking time. Healing is going slow and I cannot really do a real blog update just yet.

I miss all my fellow lemmings dearly and cannot wait until I can really type again. Until that day, avoid those cliffs!